Straight No Chaser's "12 Days of Christmas"

If you don't like the "12 Days of Christmas" you probably get coal in your stocking.  It's ok.  I do too.  There's even a support group for us. 

"Hi, everyone.  My name is T and I don't like the song the "12 Days of Christmas".  My swans went belly up, the calling birds have laryngitis, the leaping lords ran off with my milking maids leaving the cows in distress and mooing loudly enough to wake the neighbors.  The dancers tried to pretend they were the Rockettes and while they were doing their "Can-Can" move, the middle of the row fell down bringing everyone else with them and most of them are now currently laid up in the hospital with an assortment of broken bones.  It also turns out my five gold rings are really 10k gold over silver plate so they turned my fingers green."

"Hi, T.  Welcome to our group.  We understand.  We get coal too.  It's twelve days worth of coal, but at least we have something to burn in our fireplace.  Try burning the leaping lords.  You get a minimum of 20 to life for that unless you hock all of your presents and hire a good attorney."

Ahem...

There are relatively few times where I have heard this song done without someone breaking into peals of laughter.  Never mind, I think that was me and it was usually in response to people trying to either a) remember how many of what item you are supposed to give on the seventh day of Christmas or b) listening to people attempt to count backwards and simultaneously sing.  Honestly though, wouldn't seven days or maybe ten days have sufficed?  Why twelve?

Moving along...

There is some speculation that this song was designed as a catechism to help Catholics learn their faith at a time when it was illegal for them to openly practice their religion.  The following list is what the lyrics are supposed to represent: 
one - Jesus
two - the Old and New Testaments
three - the three kings who brought gifts when Jesus was born
four - the four gospels
five - the Pentateuch
six - the six days of creation
seven - the seven gifts of the holy spirit
eight - the Beatitudes
nine - the fruits of the Holy Spirit
10 - the Ten Commandments
eleven -  the eleven faithful apostles
twelve - the twelve points of the Apostles creed
Whether or not this is the true meaning of this song has never really been proven.

Straight No Chaser's version of the 12 Days of Christmas is quite hilarious.  They managed to incorporate parts of the following songs:
"Carol of the Bells"
"Santa Claus is Comin' to Town"
"Jingle Bells"
"Deck the Halls"
"Here We Come a'Wasailing"
"The Boar's Head Carol" (Hands down, this is the weirdest Christmas tradition ever to base a carol upon.  Do a google search on it if you don't believe me!  Also, the fact that I knew what this song was is just further proof of Mom's musical influence in my life.  Although thankfully, she did not ever make us sing this song.  Or play it.  Or make us listen to it.  Thanks Mom!)
"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer"
"I Have a Little Dreidel" 
"Africa" recorded by the band Toto in the 80's
Personally, I think they could have tried a little harder and incorporated twelve different songs just to preserve consistency.  However, it's funny enough with a measly eight.

The song, which may or may not have been written by someone with ADHD, appears to be going off track several times.  However, that is funny and fitting to me since most of the time when people try to sing it, they either have to stop and try to remember what the gift is supposed to be or how many of the item they are supposed to be giving!  For the record, don't ask me to sing it either because I may mess it up just for the sheer enjoyment of getting a laugh.  Or perhaps I really don't know the words either.  I'll have to keep that part a secret. 

My Dad went to see Kenny Rogers about 20 years ago.  When he did this song, he pulled twelve people out of the audience, assigned each person a number and then proceeded to try and have them perform it.  Dad said it was the funniest thing he had ever seen.  People were trying to remember what number they had, how to count backwards and whether or not it was eleven ladies leaping or nine lords milking cows with golden rings.  Whether or not the rings belonged to the cows or the lords was never fully disclosed and I'm not sure if the good people of Toledo know the answer this many years later.  I can only imagine the hilarity this song must have instigated!  The fact that I didn't get to see it forced me into counseling for awhile.  Either that or it was because of that boar's head song.  

Enjoy!  When you get done listening to this, you should probably take an inventory to make sure you have enough of these items.  According to PNC bank, this year it will cost you approximately $24,300 and you wouldn't want to disappoint your true love.