Last year, I was asked to do a stand up routine at the ladies retreat that our church does every year. Since I usually write better under pressure, I started gathering material for it but didn't do much to put it together until the 11th hour.
This year I was asked in January to do a serious presentation. Really? I was scared. I haven't given a serious presentation about anything since I was in college many eons ago. However, I tackled the task right away and started gathering material and verses I thought might be relevant. I even used an outline for the first time in my life. In the past, I always wrote my papers and then the outline since that was also part of the grade!
The night before the retreat I wanted to chuck the whole thing. I did not think it was on topic with the rest of the weekend's focus and I was afraid it was going to bomb. The worst thing I could imagine was to somehow embarrass God with my rambling or misinterpretation of His word. However, instead, of throwing several months worth of work out the window, I just prayed for the umpteenth time that this was truly what God wanted me to say. I got a very real sense of peace about the whole thing and after I did a spell check, I printed it. I did not proofread what was written which was a huge step for a "trying to reform perfectionist" like me. I do not like to speak publicly so I kept telling myself these are my friends, they won't throw things at me or laugh at me. It will be ok. Breathe....None of that pep talking helped a whole lot though.
When I arrived, I was told that I may not have to do the presentation after all. Whew! That must be why I never proofed what I had written. What I had been working on for several months was obviously something God needed me to know. Yippee!!! I was off the hook! However, the next day with about two minutes notice, I was asked to give the presentation. WHAT! Ok. If anyone had taken a blood sample from me seconds after that, it would have been straight adrenaline! I don't think I ever did calm down but this is what I presented at the Ladies Retreat in May. I prayed so much over this, I hope someone got something worthwhile out of it and if not, I know I sure did and I really enjoyed putting it together.
The poem at the end, "How to Pray" is an acrostic but this blog keep messing up my spacing. If you look for the capitalized letters you will see that it spells out the word "prayer".
Faith is the Victory
Last year, I ended my standup routine with Ecclesiastes 3:4 “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance”. I said that I hoped you laughed a little and that I bet you hoped no one was going to ask me to dance this year. Well, guess what? How about we all stand and do the Chicken Dance? Just kidding...
Many times the work that God does in my life seems ironic. When I hear the phrase “God works in mysterious ways”, I usually think he’s working in some way that will someday make me smile and laugh with the realization that He was there all along, even when it seemed like He wasn’t. I have these thoughts, even though I know that the last part of Hebrews 13:5 tells me that God will never leave me or forsake me.
It is ironic that I should stand here today talking about gaining victory over life’s problems. I can’t even gain victory over the pile of laundry lying in the bathroom that’s four feet deep, six feet wide and seems to breed when I am sleeping. I don’t seem to be able to gain victory over the messy house, the pile of work I have to do for my job and I surely don’t have victory over not doing the things I don’t want to do and replacing those with the things I do want to do.
We are all so busy! And this busyness can sometimes lead to many things that are detrimental to us such as: stress, guilt, worry and in the extreme it can lead to a separation from God. As women, we have to figure out how to balance the needs of our families. Many times this includes caring for infants all the way up to aging parents. We have the needs of our spouses that we desire to attend to, as well as those of our friends, neighbors, the teams that we coach, the committees that we are part of and the body of Christ. We may also have professional responsibilities that have to be taken care of as well.
During the course of the day I am:
a spouse
the mother of four
the step-mother of four
a daughter
a sister
a niece
a neighbor
an employee
an employer
an aunt
a friend
a cousin
a sister in Christ
a child of God
a chauffeur
a doctor
a counselor
a nurse
a teacher
a cook
a maid
an accountant
The list and our responsibilities are never ending. But there’s nothing special about me because every one of us here today has a list of numerous responsibilities that we must fulfill each day.
Who are you?
What roles do you take on each day?
And how do they affect your life?
Each one of our roles, demands time, attention, commitment, love and a desire to make another person’s life just a little bit better. As women, we are fulfilled when we are fulfilling the needs of someone else. But sometimes we get too busy, our lives get too far out of balance and that’s when things can get messy in a hurry. We experience worry, guilt, stress and a myriad of other problems that side track us from what we want to do. In Psalm 34:19 we learn that:
Psa 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.
Yet, knowing this how many times are we shocked that our lives are out of balance once again? How many times are we shocked that we are afflicted with worry, stress or maybe even guilt?
Perhaps:
the car broke down,
the checkbook is overdrawn,
the doctor was running behind,
our kids are out of control,
we have health problems
we feel guilty because we might wonder where God is in all of the mess
we feel alone, inadequate, maybe even afraid
So, we call other sisters to share what is happening. We pray and wonder if our prayers are being heard. Maybe we second guess ourselves and wonder what would have, could have and perhaps should have been, if only we had done something just a little bit different. Sometimes we even wonder where God is because it doesn’t seem like He’s listening. When the valley is long, dark and filled with pain it is hard to hear His voice. When there doesn’t seem to be any answers to our prayers, we wonder if God is listening.
But then one day we realize that things seem a little better and the next day seems a little better than the day before. Eventually, we realize that we have made it through the latest crisis and we are heading out of the valley. When we start to ascend the mountain, it is from the vantage point of it’s summit, that we realize the truth of the second half of Psalm 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivers him out of them all. God doesn’t promise to deliver us from one or two of the things that drag us down, He promises to deliver us from them ALL. We shouldn’t be surprised or even caught off guard when problems come our way, nor should we be surprised when the Lord delivers us safely to the other side.
In fact, we read in James 1:2-3 that “my Brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.” The word “divers” is derived from the word diverse, which means “unlike”. Basically, we should be joyful when we are tempted in multiple ways by multiple things, because that temptation tries and tests our faith and the testing of our faith brings patience.
Guilt
I sometimes feel guilty because I can’t cross off everything I have on my “to do” list.
When the kids want to play a game and I have to meet a deadline for work, I sometimes feel guilty. When Mike gets off the road after driving for four days straight and I am running out the door to take one of the kids to some activity, I feel guilty.
When I sit and read instead of trying to tackle that pile of laundry I told you about, I feel guilty.
When I drop into bed after 20 hours of working, raising kids, caring for our home and I realize that I fell asleep while praying, I feel guilty.
I ask myself if I am putting my business before my family?
Am I neglecting my spouse?
Am I neglecting the kids?
Am I neglecting my Savior?
Are my priorities out of order?
If they are out of order what needs to change?
Everything on that list is important for one reason or another so how do I find the balance?
Guilt is defined as: feelings of culpability (or blameworthy) especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy: self reproach.
Hmmm, did you get that? Guilt is us blaming ourselves for imagined offenses. Of course sometimes our guilt is legitimate and can be a good thing if it prompts us to examine an area of our life that may need to be addressed. Perhaps there is an area where there may be sin that we need to seek forgiveness for. Or maybe we are emphasizing something that shouldn’t be quite so high on our list of priorities. But there have been many times in my life that I have felt guilty for something that in hindsight really wasn’t such a big deal. In my thoughts I had blown the situation out of proportion; imagined offenses if you will.
The point is guilt that is not legitimate needs to be released.
Worry
As women, we tend to worry. A lot.
Did the kids take their phone when they left for the game?
Did they arrive at their destination safely?
Are they texting and driving?
Does the baby have another ear infection?
Did anyone make sure the toilet wasn’t still running when we left? The answer to that was “No". So, it ran for the entire time we were gone on the boat trip two years ago and leaked water all over the bathroom floor including soaking the bedroom carpet. Did I mention that this was the upstairs bathroom?
Are we going to be have enough money to retire?
Is our insurance adequate?
How are we going to pay for college?
Is Mom/Dad ok or is this early dementia?
What is going on with our country?
This list is also endless. But the Bible says in Matthew 6:25-34
Mat 6:25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Mat 6:26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them Are ye not much better than they?
Mat 6:27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
Mat 6:28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
Mat 6:29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Mat 6:30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
Mat 6:31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
Mat 6:32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Mat 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
We read in Lamentations 3:22 It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
And we read in Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Stress
Stress is defined as: a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in causing disease
d: a state resulting from a stress; especially: one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium i.e. job-related stress. Also strain and pressure.
Too much worry or guilt can cause stress. Too much stress can cause physical ailments such as high blood pressure which can lead to stroke and/or heart attack. Yet, we all find ourselves under stress from carrying the load of all the busyness in our lives.
We are told in Mathew 11: 28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Jesus tells us to take His yoke upon us, not ours. He promises that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. That sounds wonderful. A light and easy burden compared to the weight of responsibility that we try to juggle each day.
So how do we keep going when we are weighed down by the details of our lives?
How to Keep Going
1. Change the way you think
How do we keep going when it seems like everything is against us? I think it starts with a change of mind. Miss Janie would tell us to stop our stinkin’ thinkin’. Watty Piper, the author who penned the children’s book “The Little Engine That Could”, tells the tale of a train that has broken down and the poor little boys and girls on the other side of the mountain are in danger of not receiving their toys, fruit and milk if another engine does not help. Two large, shiny engines, fully capable of helping the distressed engine refuse to help because they are too important, too beautiful. A small engine eventually comes to the rescue of the helpless train and while repeating “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can”, the engine is successful in delivering the train to the other side of the mountain. As Christians, we have a promise from God that with His help “I know I can” is often the start of real change and an effort to persevere even though the way is lonely, dangerous, scary or difficult.
Proverbs 1:3 tells us to “Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.”
So if we commit what we are doing to the Lord, He will help us change our thoughts. He will rid us of our worry, our misplaced guilt and our stress.
2. Believe
Our actions always follow our beliefs.
3. Persevere
You have to keep on going. There is no giving up. The Marine Corps mantra is: failure is not an option. Paul tell us in Phi 3:13 & 14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
I believe another version of the Bible uses the word “straining” in place of “reaching forth”. The word strain is derived from Old English or Old High German and it means to “gain” or “acquire”. As Christians we should be straining, reaching, gaining, and acquiring a vibrant, close, real relationship with Jesus with the ultimate goal of eternal life. The word “reach” and the word “strain” imply that there is work to do here. It takes hard work to forget about the failures we have experienced in the past and sometimes it takes hard work to accept forgiveness for those failures. We make forward progress and then something happens to trigger a memory and we are once again dwelling on a past we are powerless to change. But we are told that we must forget the things that are behind us so that we can reach towards the things that are ahead of us.
Colossians 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Col 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
Col 3:3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
Col 3:4 When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.
4. Hope
“My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand.”
Job 11:18 And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety.
Psa 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
Psa 31:24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.
Psa 42:11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
Psa 119:114 Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word.
Jer 17:7 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
Lam 3:24 The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
Act 2:26 Therefore did my heart rejoice, and my tongue was glad; moreover also my flesh shall rest in hope.
Rom 5:2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
Rom 12:12 Rejoicing in hope patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
Heb 6:11 And we desire that every one of you do show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope unto the end:
Hope is to cherish a desire with anticipation. We hope it won’t rain on our plans for a picnic. We hope our kids will see Christ in us.
It is also to desire, with the expectation of obtaining something. People hope to finish college or we hope to get a tax refund this year. In each of these examples, someone is gaining something that they are hoping for.
The third definition of hope is to expect with confidence or to trust. We trust and believe that God will do what He says He is going to do.
He says that He will remove our sins as far as the east is from the west.
He promises to never leave us or forsake us.
He promises to restore the years that the worm has eaten.
He promises His burden is easy.
He promises rest for the weary.
He promises His forgiveness.
He promises His peace.
He promises His love.
He promises His grace.
He promises His mercy.
He promises eternal life.
Our hope lies within the power of the resurrected Christ, our Savior.
5. Prayer
Another thing we can to do in order to persevere when circumstances have beaten us down is prayer.
Phil 4: 6 &7 says Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Phi 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
To supplicate means to make a humble entreaty.
Ecc 4:9-11 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. Ecc 4:10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
Ecc 4:11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?
And Matthew 18:19-20 says
Mat 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
Mat 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
Worry, guilt and even stress can sometimes cause us to have the tendency to pull away from other people. When we are hurting or overwhelmed with life's circumstances, the tendency to isolate ourselves can be quite strong. These two passages caution against that behavior. During periods of time when we experience great stress, we should be seeking out other people to pray with us; to gather in Jesus’ name together, anticipating that God will answer our prayers. If circumstances are bad enough, sometimes it seems impossible to pray and when that happens, it is good to know that there are others one can approach to request prayers on your behalf.
Hebrews 4:16 tell us “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”
We are to boldly approach the throne of grace. Listen to how Webster defines the word bold: showing or requiring a fearless and daring spirit. Some synonyms for bold: are assured, confident, free. What if we approached the Lord with a fearless and daring spirit, assured, free and confident every time we prayed? What would happen in our lives? Perhaps the prodigal child would return home. Maybe that long held dream would be fulfilled. Maybe a marriage would be restored. Maybe the lost soul that your heart longs to see saved would come to find the Lord. I dare you to approach the Lord’s throne of grace, boldly anticipating his help in your time of need. Cast your worry, your guilt, your stress on Him and He will give you the desires of your heart.
The Red Bike
In the summer of 2002, I was living with my Mom and my four children. I was recently divorced and the kids had not seen their father for ten months or so. Due to the serious medical complications of two of the kids, I was unable to work and money was extremely tight, to say the least.
One day I was putting my little boy to bed when he said, "Mama, I would like a new bike for Christmas because the bike I have right now is too small for me to ride it very well."
Groaning inwardly, because I knew there was no way a bike was in this child's future, I said, "Well, maybe that's something you should pray about." I decided I'd worry later about teaching him that sometimes God doesn't answer our prayers the way we want him to. For now, he could just pray for the bike that I could not provide for him.
Almost daily, for several months he would pray for that bike. As Christmas drew closer, my anxiety increased because I knew he was going to be disappointed on Christmas morning and there wasn't anything I could do about it.
A letter came in the mail stating that an area business had somehow gotten our name and wondered if they could sponsor the kids for Christmas. I agreed and they proceeded to take the kids names and ages. They told me they would get back with me closer to Christmas so they could set up a time to drop off the gifts.
Since it was closer to Christmas, my son didn't skip a day asking for that bike. Sometimes I would sit downstairs and cry after everyone had gone to bed. I did not want to face his disappointment and I did not want to have to teach him the "we don't always get what we want when we want it even though we pray for it" lesson at the tender age of five.
One day, the phone rang and it was the man I had spoken with from the business who was sponsoring the kids. We set up a time for them to stop by the house and I chose to have them come in the middle of the afternoon while the kids would be taking a nap. We had an area in the garage all staked out to put the stuff so the kids wouldn't see it. The appointed time came and went and while it was getting later and later, I wondered what had happened. Finally, the phone rang and the businessman apologized for being so late. He said he had received an additional $150 that morning and had needed to stop by WalMart so he could add that to the gift card they were going to give us.
Additional $150? I considered that to be a lot of money for a group to put together for a Christmas sponsorship. I asked if he just wanted to mail it to the house instead of coming by and personally delivering it and he said, "No, that's not the only thing we have."
We set up another day and time and this time he was there early. I will never forget these two men. Although I did not know who they were and would not recognize them if I saw them again, these two reminded me just exactly who is in control of our lives.
They unloaded boxes, bags, groceries and one of them handed me the gift card with over $200 on it. I thanked them, though words were inadequate and could not express what was truly in my heart. They said, "Oh, we're not done yet. We haven't brought in the best part yet."
The best part? Good grief, they had unloaded an entire trunk and backseat full of stuff. How could there be anything else?
I was putting some of the groceries in the house while they went out to their car. When I walked back out to the garage there they were; one man holding a brand new red bike and one man holding a brand new pink bike.
Stunned, I said, "Two? Bikes? My son has been praying for a bike for months now."
One of them said, "Well, it looks like it worked. Merry Christmas!" and then they left.
I stood in the garage crying over two little bikes; one red, one pink. I guessed I wouldn't have to be teaching my son about the "not always getting what we want when we want it even though we pray for it" lesson just yet. I hid the bikes anticipating Christmas morning even more than the kids.
On Christmas morning after we had read the Christmas story and the kids had opened their gifts, we went out to the garage where I had removed the bikes from their hiding places. My son's eyes were as big as they could get. "He didn't forget! He didn't forget! I knew if I prayed for it God would find me a bike! I love it! Thank you!"
That was seven years ago. Neither of the bikes are very shiny anymore and they are both too small for anyone in this house. However, I cannot bear to give them away because they represent so much to me. I rather flippantly told my son to pray for something I knew I would not be able to provide for him and he took that idea and consistently and faithfully prayed about it. It wasn't him who needed faith to believe that God would provide, it was me.
I have often said that God needed me to have those bikes even more than my son did. What I learned that Christmas was even when it looks like there is no hope, God is in control and is directing the situation. He sees and knows what our needs are and He provides for them. I also learned that sometimes God provides above our wildest dreams, to give us something even better than what we asked for. Sometimes He gives us two bikes instead of only the one we asked for and sometimes He gives us a promotion instead of just a small raise. Mostly what I learned is that He loves us, He is faithful and He hears and answers our prayers.
Today those two bikes stand in the corner of our garage. There have been many times when I have gone out to look at them or I am reminded of them when I didn't think He was listening to my prayers and in fact, even wondered if He cared about my prayers. They are the tangible evidence of a faithful and loving Father taking care of the fatherless and the simple faith of a little boy.
I dare you to pray without ceasing and see what desires of your own heart God bestows upon you.
How to Pray
Pray without ceasing, press on towards the goal
in Reverence to God, He cares for your soul
believe He will Answer the desires of your heart
Yearn to be closer, never to part
Expect Him to answer your prayers in His time
and Rest in Him always, He grants peace, sublime.
T. Deffely
02/01/2010
