The other day I was out shopping with Kate and Corinne when we stopped for lunch at Arby's. Over lunch, we were talking about such varied topics as their upcoming trip to Florida to visit Grandpa and Stephanie, Aunt Mel, Uncle Larry and all of their dogs, different people from church, as well as laughing about silly things that ten and eleven year old girls think are funny. In that case, it sometimes helps to BE a ten or eleven year old girl in order to understand why what they are laughing about is funny. We were having a great time.
During a lull in our conversation, I became aware of a grandfather who was having lunch with his approximately four year old granddaughter. However, instead of actually having a conversation about Barbie, silly bands, the princesses or laughing at her little-girl giggles, he was texting and showing her how to go online with his Blackberry! I wondered if my girls would notice and if they did, I wondered what they would think of that.
My maternal Grandfather died when I was about four, my maternal Grandmother died when I was 16, my paternal Grandmother died when I was 30 and Grandpa died when I was 31. I grew up within about .2 miles from my paternal grandparents, while Grandma Bower lived a whopping four miles away. It took absolutely forever to get to her house when I was small! When I was in my early 20's and had moved about 20 miles away from home, I remember calling Grandma Bloomer and saying that I wasn't sure I liked living "so far" away from her. She laughed and said, "You can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl." I said, "It's more than that. I've never been this far away from you and I'm not sure I like not being able to look out the window and see if you are still up or not." She just laughed.
To say that my grandparents heavily influenced my life would be an understatement. Grandma Bower came to our house every Sunday after church, had dinner with us, stayed all afternoon, went back to Sunday evening church and then we took her home. She made this chocolate frosting that if you were careful, you could peel it off the top of your cake and eat it like a piece of fudge. It was like getting two deserts in one day, so don't tell my Mom! She also make the best stuffing, molasses cookies (with three raisins in each cookie) and chocolate chip cookies (with exactly four chocolate "bits" in each cookie). She taught me a lot about God, about life and she was just a lot of fun to hang around with. When I went to her house or on Sunday afternoons, we played Crazy Eights, Old Maid, Go Fish, Flinch, Tri-Ominoes, Dominoes, Monopoly, Sorry, Rook and just about any other board or card game that was ever invented. We went for walks to the park and around the block. When she had to go into the nursing home, I used to ride my bike over to see her on Saturdays and when I would leave, she would take her walker and go out to the end of the building to make sure I crossed Airport Highway safely. I was 15. I always wondered what she was going to do if I somehow met my demise crossing that road while she was watching. I distinctly remember watching Santa Claus is Coming to Town on our color TV with Grandma one year, but it is one of only a handful of memories that I have of her and "technology"; unless you count the old phonograph as technology. It was a very sad time when Grandma died and I still miss her all these years later. Sometimes I wish she were still here to advise me or to play a game with or to read to.
As for my paternal grandparents, they lived right up the road from us and spied on us regularly. They didn't even hide it! They had a bay window with two chairs that sat facing each other. On the shelf next to the chairs, were the binoculars they used to make sure we weren't getting into mischief! Those binoculars were what prompted the phone call to our mother during the blizzard of 1978. I guess they didn't think it was particularly safe for us to be sledding off the roof of the house. Go figure.
Grandma Bower always said to me, "You go from one extreme to the next." I guess she thought I exaggerated a lot for some reason. She also said, "What did you have for dinner today? Giggle soup?" I guess she thought I laughed a lot for some reason. She also said, "Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone." She was NOT impressed with the attempt to manipulate her with tears and she had no problem letting me know that she wasn't about to tolerate it. I needed this type of firm hand when I was a kid and she was smart enough to know it. God was too, which is why He gave her to me. Unfortunately, Grandma told my Mom about this strategy too, so I wasn't able to get away with anything whatsoever.
Grandma Bloomer always had cookies or butter and brown sugar sandwiches to eat at her house. She was an excellent cook too. She made her own noodles! She made sugar cookies, chili, etc. and she never used a recipe that I know of nor did she measure anything. Grandma also had dogs; in particular Shelties. They were so cute and cuddly and it was great fun to go up to Grandma's and play with the dogs. Grandpa raised pigs for slaughter which required an electrified fence. We used to throw corn husks on the fence in an attempt to entice a pig to come and get it off the fence so we could hear it squeal! Grandpa taught Sunday school and Grandma sang and sometimes when we would spend the night on Saturday night, I would see Grandpa putting the finishing touches on his lesson. That old, black Bible was marked all over with his notes. That made an impression on me because I had always been taught not to write in books and here was Grandpa writing in red and black ink in the grandaddy of all books ever written!
Both of my grandmas were great in dispensing advise or getting me to think about something in a different way. They usually never came right out and said what they thought I should do, but they both asked enough questions, that on the way home, it was pretty hard to miss what they thought about any particular situation. They prayed for me too. Sometimes they did it right in front of me and sometimes they just told me they were doing it. If you think I need prayers now, you should have known me back then! If Mom and Dad hadn't already made my grandparent's hair turn gray, it surely would have by the time they had me to contend with!
There were so many memories of my grandparents that came flooding into my mind that day we were at Arby's. Memories of family dinners with everyone gathered together for prayer before eating, memories of going to church together, listening to Grandpa pray, hearing my grandmas sing, spending time together, the wisdom and knowledge that they freely shared with me, the way they anchored me and instilled into me the things that matter most; mostly love of family and love for God.
As we got ready to leave, Corinne said, "Mom did you see that grandpa showing that little girl how to get online with his phone?" I acknowledged that I had seen it and also said, "I feel sorry for her. Actually, I feel sorry for both of them." When Corinne asked me why I said, "Because someday one of them might not be here anymore and when that day comes, what will the one left behind remember? That they went to Arby's and fooled around with a cell phone instead of having a real conversation?"
I felt kind of sorry for the little girl and her grandpa as we loaded up in our car to leave. Technology can be a great thing. We need it for many things, but I think sometimes it encroaches upon things that it has no business being a part of; for instance, lunch with your granddaughter.
If this is what being a grandparent means in the this new age, I'm going to be the nerdy one who leaves the cell phone off when I am privileged enough to have lunch with my grandkiddos. They will deserve nothing less and I will be blessed that I have the opportunity to spend time with them.
Here's a poem I wrote about Grandma Bower when she died. I was 16.
"A Tribute to Grandma"
Dorothy Louise Bower
I looked at you with tears in my eyes
and wondered silently why you died.
I knew you were old
your health was failing
but you were my Grandma
who would always be there
to wipe away my tears
and chase away my fears.
I couldn't believe it was you laying there
and as I cried, I continued to stare
at the person who was my Grandma.
Who a few days before and been so full of life
in spite of all the pain and strife
you dealt with in the past few months.
You said you wouldn't always be near
and not to approach death with fear,
but rather as an extension of life.
The past few months have been really hard
my thoughts always focus on you
and though we didn't say it often,
I hope you knew it's true:
you were one of the biggest
influences in my life
and Grandma, I'll always love you.
-Teresa Bloomer
November 1983
And here's one I wrote when Grandma Bloomer died.
"Iris in the Spring"
(for Grandma)
Peach cobbler in the Summer,
the iris in the Spring,
an angel food cake at Christmas
to celebrate the birthday of a King.
Good advice freely given,
solicited or not,
baby-sitter to many Grandchildren
when they were tiny tots.
She had sympathetic ear,
and ready hands to wipe our tears.
Wife, Mother and Grandmother too,
she became more precious with each passing year.
Grandma thought her kids were perfect,
each one with their own special gift,
and her Grandkids knew they were too,
on a bad day it could give you a lift.
But Grandpa was the special one,
the sunshine of her day,
"He was the only boy I ever loved!"
to me she'd always say.
And even when she could hardly see,
she'd comb his beard so tenderly,
and anyone watching them would know,
they had what God wanted a marriage to be.
Grandma taught us all about God,
by taking us to church,
she lived the message here at home,
and said that if we loved Him,
someday we'd see the Heavenly throne.
Grandma missed the iris this year,
the cobbler didn't taste the same,
but when she died,
on her face was a smile,
for she'd heard her Saviour call her name.
And before those left behind had even shed a tear,
Grandma heard the words of the Lord whispered in her ear,
"Well done my good and faithful Servant,
your work on Earth is done.
Come see the place I built for you,
You've been faithful to my Son."
And when it's time for you to go,
if you live the life that Grandma showed,
with our Lord you'll live eternally
and someday soon Grandma's sweet face you'll see.
-T. Bent
August 28, 1997
Friday, December 17, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Salt and Light
For the past several months I have been unable to shake an almost overwhelming sense of urgency that something big is happening at the periphery of my life. It's something I can sense but can't seem to pinpoint. I am compelled to believe that it will be pivotal when it comes to pass. It will be all-encompassing and will change the landscape of life as I know it right now. I sense that things are afoot, that God is moving, globally, nationally, state-wide, city-wide, church-wide, family-wide and personally. I am trying to be still and listen for His voice and I want to do His will. I need to be in the center of that will, not in front of it, beside it, behind it.
Psalm 119:11 says, "Thy word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee." It's harder to make the decision to sin when our thoughts are consumed with the things that concern God. But, I can't help thinking that God is urging me to memorize the scriptures for another reason as well.
I want to be salt and light for the people that are in my life. I NEED to be salt and light for the people that are in my life. As a child of God, I am commanded to do this. Luke 14:34 says "Salt therefore is good: but if even the salt has lost its savor, wherewith shall it be seasoned?" If I don't fulfill this task that God has asked me to do, if I lose my "saltiness", then who will show the people in my circle of influence what God's love, forgiveness and grace is all about?
God is prodding me, preparing me, challenging me for the race that is ahead. I pray that I will run it with endurance and grace.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore let us also, seeing we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2 looking unto Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising shame, and hath sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:28 Wherefore, receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us have grace, whereby we may offer service well-pleasing to God with reverence and awe:
29 for our God is a consuming fire.
Psalm 119:11 says, "Thy word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee." It's harder to make the decision to sin when our thoughts are consumed with the things that concern God. But, I can't help thinking that God is urging me to memorize the scriptures for another reason as well.
I want to be salt and light for the people that are in my life. I NEED to be salt and light for the people that are in my life. As a child of God, I am commanded to do this. Luke 14:34 says "Salt therefore is good: but if even the salt has lost its savor, wherewith shall it be seasoned?" If I don't fulfill this task that God has asked me to do, if I lose my "saltiness", then who will show the people in my circle of influence what God's love, forgiveness and grace is all about?
God is prodding me, preparing me, challenging me for the race that is ahead. I pray that I will run it with endurance and grace.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore let us also, seeing we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2 looking unto Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising shame, and hath sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:28 Wherefore, receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us have grace, whereby we may offer service well-pleasing to God with reverence and awe:
29 for our God is a consuming fire.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Losing the Battle of the Laundry
Ah, the age old battle with the pile of laundry. It's a nightmare. It's never finished and I swear it lurks around at night breeding when I'm not looking. I am thankful for my washing machine though because it means that I don't have to hike down to the crick* and find two rocks with which to wash our clothes. The nearest crick in these parts is a pretty good distance away from here and I know as soon as I find a rock, let alone two, I'm probably going to drop it on my foot due to the sheer talent it would take to balance our laundry while carrying two rocks and wading in a crick full of freezing cold water while my feet are numb.
If I had to do that, my family would be the one everyone in the neighborhood would be talking about. You know who they are; the "dirty" people, the one's who must have well water because their whites are dingy. In fact, they don't even have whites, they have grays. When my Mom moved to town I remember her saying, "I never knew my whites were so yellow." I was twenty years old then, so I never paid much attention to my whites or yellows as long as they weren't in the red pile. At least I knew that much. Who knew that well water turned your clothes yellow? Who cared? I doubt it worried too many people unless you were the “country kid” with well water wearing dingy whites, standing next to the "town kid" wearing pristine whites because they had "town water" filled with chemicals to keep their clothes white and probably their intestines too.
Anyway, when I had kids I quickly realized there was no way to keep up with the laundry. It was a losing battle. Under the mantra of "One Day at a Time", I just made sure everyone had clean clothes for the next day, clean beds and towels. After that, if I got some wash done, it was a bonus. If stuff actually got into their dresser drawers it was like getting an extra 20 points on your trig test in high school! Somehow, I felt like I had passed some unwritten test given only to females when I was ahead of the laundry. Sadly, I am usually in the remedial female class. I can't decorate or sew, I don't understand the intricacies of shopping (groceries or clothes), I don't understand make-up or waxing eyebrows and I usually stick my finger through the stupid nylons when I have to wear them. Please feel free to feel sorry for Mike.
The irony of this poem that I wrote a few years ago, is two-fold: I was actually caught up on the laundry when I wrote it and it seems kind of funny that I had time to write a poem about not getting the laundry done, instead of actually doing the laundry. That probably offers great insight into the way I operate.
“Ode To My Dirty Laundry”
I looked around and all I could see
was the pile of laundry looming over me.
Scattered across the bathroom floor,
if I went into the bedrooms I knew I’d find more.
Towering high above my head
“How can this be?” I silently said.
It was just yesterday when I washed the whites,
folded them promptly and tucked them in tight
in each child’s dresser.
But how can this be?
For now I’m behind in the towels and jeans!
For each load that I finish
two more seem to appear
When I head into the bathroom, the piles silently jeer.
So off I go to sort and to load
if I don’t do some now, the bathroom will explode.
Stuffed to its walls with dirt galore
so what if I catch up?
It somehow breeds more.
It’s a losing battle but in my court is the ball.
I’ll load the wash in the washer and strike back with All,
then soften with Downy
and serve the laundry the ball.
I know I’ll get caught up as I always do
and when that happens I’ll be relieved anew.
But I won’t feel guilty about your dirty, silent jeers
because I have children to read to and they are so dear!
Laundry, you may grow larger and silently mock
But for now you will wait
for I have kids I must rock.
T. Bent
09/01/2004
Dedicated to Richard (age 7), Kate (age 5), Corinne (age 4) and Bethany (age 3)
*Yes, I know the proper term is "creek", but it is much more fun to use the word "crick".
If I had to do that, my family would be the one everyone in the neighborhood would be talking about. You know who they are; the "dirty" people, the one's who must have well water because their whites are dingy. In fact, they don't even have whites, they have grays. When my Mom moved to town I remember her saying, "I never knew my whites were so yellow." I was twenty years old then, so I never paid much attention to my whites or yellows as long as they weren't in the red pile. At least I knew that much. Who knew that well water turned your clothes yellow? Who cared? I doubt it worried too many people unless you were the “country kid” with well water wearing dingy whites, standing next to the "town kid" wearing pristine whites because they had "town water" filled with chemicals to keep their clothes white and probably their intestines too.
Anyway, when I had kids I quickly realized there was no way to keep up with the laundry. It was a losing battle. Under the mantra of "One Day at a Time", I just made sure everyone had clean clothes for the next day, clean beds and towels. After that, if I got some wash done, it was a bonus. If stuff actually got into their dresser drawers it was like getting an extra 20 points on your trig test in high school! Somehow, I felt like I had passed some unwritten test given only to females when I was ahead of the laundry. Sadly, I am usually in the remedial female class. I can't decorate or sew, I don't understand the intricacies of shopping (groceries or clothes), I don't understand make-up or waxing eyebrows and I usually stick my finger through the stupid nylons when I have to wear them. Please feel free to feel sorry for Mike.
The irony of this poem that I wrote a few years ago, is two-fold: I was actually caught up on the laundry when I wrote it and it seems kind of funny that I had time to write a poem about not getting the laundry done, instead of actually doing the laundry. That probably offers great insight into the way I operate.
“Ode To My Dirty Laundry”
I looked around and all I could see
was the pile of laundry looming over me.
Scattered across the bathroom floor,
if I went into the bedrooms I knew I’d find more.
Towering high above my head
“How can this be?” I silently said.
It was just yesterday when I washed the whites,
folded them promptly and tucked them in tight
in each child’s dresser.
But how can this be?
For now I’m behind in the towels and jeans!
For each load that I finish
two more seem to appear
When I head into the bathroom, the piles silently jeer.
So off I go to sort and to load
if I don’t do some now, the bathroom will explode.
Stuffed to its walls with dirt galore
so what if I catch up?
It somehow breeds more.
It’s a losing battle but in my court is the ball.
I’ll load the wash in the washer and strike back with All,
then soften with Downy
and serve the laundry the ball.
I know I’ll get caught up as I always do
and when that happens I’ll be relieved anew.
But I won’t feel guilty about your dirty, silent jeers
because I have children to read to and they are so dear!
Laundry, you may grow larger and silently mock
But for now you will wait
for I have kids I must rock.
T. Bent
09/01/2004
Dedicated to Richard (age 7), Kate (age 5), Corinne (age 4) and Bethany (age 3)
*Yes, I know the proper term is "creek", but it is much more fun to use the word "crick".
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Praising God in the Middle of the Storm
What do you do when something happens that you can't comprehend? Something that tests your faith, rocks your world, threatens your safety, your health, your finances or makes you question everything you thought you knew about the way things ought to or were supposed to work?
Do you: get angry?
worry?
try to fix it on your own?
doubt your faith?
question God's wisdom, His timing, His control?
ask why?
The Bible tells us that God is the same yesterday, today, forever. In a world full of inconsistencies, God is telling us not to worry, because He is the one constant in our lives, the rock, the basis for everything, something solid and unmovable that in our human frailty, we can hang onto no matter what. He tells us that He will never leave us nor forsake us. He tells us if we are "weary and heavy laden" that He will give us rest. In Isaiah 26:3 we find that God will keep us in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Him, because we trust in Him. This last example suggests there is some work to be done on our part. God expects us to keep our thoughts trained on Him and to trust Him. It isn't because He's some egotistical other-worldly being in the sky on a giant ego trip. It's because when we are focused on Him we are at peace in the midst of the storm because we know He is in control. He calmed the sea, He is able to heal, He can raise the dead, He protects us and He loves us beyond anything that we can begin to comprehend.
God knows everything we need but longs to hear us ask Him. What happens though, when we are so burdened that we can't even muster the strength to pray? Many times we shake our fists and rail against God, "Why? Why? Why have YOU allowed this terrible thing to happen to me, to my family, to my friends, even to complete strangers? Why? I don't understand this! What do you want from me!? I can't do this anymore!" Jesus tells us that our ways are not His ways and neither are our thoughts, His. He also tells us that He intercedes for us and interprets our groaning for the Father. That's a good thing, since there have been many times in my life when the only "prayer" I could come up with was, "ummm, so...., ahhhhh...(insert crying here)." So even though we don't understand things, God always has the bigger picture in mind even while we can only see a tiny part of the canvas.
In the midst of our human angst, how does one praise God for our trials? Why should we even want to? John 16:33 says, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace. In the world you will have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." That's cool! Be cheerful, God has everything under control! David said he would "bless the Lord at all times and that His praise will continually be in my mouth". Psalm 35:28 says that my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long. Obviously, God wants us to praise him at all times and in all circumstances, no matter what. It isn't based upon how we feel, what we think, whether it's raining outside or not and praise isn't only about singing, so you aren't off the hook if you can't carry a tune in a bucket either. We praise God because He is worthy of our praise and even says that if we don't praise Him, that the rocks, or in other words, inanimate objects will. Shouldn't we, who can think, feel, trust, believe and love want to praise our Creator?
In Isaiah 61:1-3, God tell us "The Spirit of the Lord Jehovah is upon me; because Jehovah hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; 2 to proclaim the year of Jehovah's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; 3 to appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them a garland for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of Jehovah, that he may be glorified."
That He may be glorified. His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not ours. Jesus walked the earth as a man and understands our weakness, our human emotion, our failure, our disappointment. His strength is perfect. He is worthy to be praised and in the end, when we have come out on the other side of the dark tunnel we were in, He WILL be glorified. That's why we praise Him even when life looks grim, even when we don't feel like it, even when we don't understand, even when the only praise we can offer is our tears. Because He is God, He is worthy to be praised.
Are you praising Him in the midst of your personal storm?
1Th 5:16 Rejoice evermore. 17 Pray without ceasing. 18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
Do you: get angry?
worry?
try to fix it on your own?
doubt your faith?
question God's wisdom, His timing, His control?
ask why?
The Bible tells us that God is the same yesterday, today, forever. In a world full of inconsistencies, God is telling us not to worry, because He is the one constant in our lives, the rock, the basis for everything, something solid and unmovable that in our human frailty, we can hang onto no matter what. He tells us that He will never leave us nor forsake us. He tells us if we are "weary and heavy laden" that He will give us rest. In Isaiah 26:3 we find that God will keep us in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Him, because we trust in Him. This last example suggests there is some work to be done on our part. God expects us to keep our thoughts trained on Him and to trust Him. It isn't because He's some egotistical other-worldly being in the sky on a giant ego trip. It's because when we are focused on Him we are at peace in the midst of the storm because we know He is in control. He calmed the sea, He is able to heal, He can raise the dead, He protects us and He loves us beyond anything that we can begin to comprehend.
God knows everything we need but longs to hear us ask Him. What happens though, when we are so burdened that we can't even muster the strength to pray? Many times we shake our fists and rail against God, "Why? Why? Why have YOU allowed this terrible thing to happen to me, to my family, to my friends, even to complete strangers? Why? I don't understand this! What do you want from me!? I can't do this anymore!" Jesus tells us that our ways are not His ways and neither are our thoughts, His. He also tells us that He intercedes for us and interprets our groaning for the Father. That's a good thing, since there have been many times in my life when the only "prayer" I could come up with was, "ummm, so...., ahhhhh...(insert crying here)." So even though we don't understand things, God always has the bigger picture in mind even while we can only see a tiny part of the canvas.
In the midst of our human angst, how does one praise God for our trials? Why should we even want to? John 16:33 says, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace. In the world you will have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." That's cool! Be cheerful, God has everything under control! David said he would "bless the Lord at all times and that His praise will continually be in my mouth". Psalm 35:28 says that my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long. Obviously, God wants us to praise him at all times and in all circumstances, no matter what. It isn't based upon how we feel, what we think, whether it's raining outside or not and praise isn't only about singing, so you aren't off the hook if you can't carry a tune in a bucket either. We praise God because He is worthy of our praise and even says that if we don't praise Him, that the rocks, or in other words, inanimate objects will. Shouldn't we, who can think, feel, trust, believe and love want to praise our Creator?
In Isaiah 61:1-3, God tell us "The Spirit of the Lord Jehovah is upon me; because Jehovah hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; 2 to proclaim the year of Jehovah's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; 3 to appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them a garland for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of Jehovah, that he may be glorified."
That He may be glorified. His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not ours. Jesus walked the earth as a man and understands our weakness, our human emotion, our failure, our disappointment. His strength is perfect. He is worthy to be praised and in the end, when we have come out on the other side of the dark tunnel we were in, He WILL be glorified. That's why we praise Him even when life looks grim, even when we don't feel like it, even when we don't understand, even when the only praise we can offer is our tears. Because He is God, He is worthy to be praised.
Are you praising Him in the midst of your personal storm?
1Th 5:16 Rejoice evermore. 17 Pray without ceasing. 18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Bethany
Today I am thankful for my "crisis baby". The circumstances in my life had gotten completely out of control when I discovered that B was on her way. I was happy! I had secretly wanted more kids, but I wasn't sure if we would have any more and I knew people would think I was nuts. There is a magic number (usually two) that people seem to think is an acceptable number of kids, after that, some people get rather snarky about additional kids. As if it's any of their business. As if God doesn't have a hand in it at all and people know better than He does. Anyway, at the same time, I was hesitant about the timing of it. As always, I trusted that God's hand was on my life and it would all work to His glory.
By crisis, I mean:
- That my ex-husband was doing drugs when I got pregnant.
- That he got arrested for possession when I was pregnant.
- That I left my marriage of ten years and eventually filed for divorce.
- That I had no money. None. Not even the several hundred dollars we had in rolled change. Every bit of it, including the pennies had been ransacked and used by my ex-husband who was undoubtedly looking for a way to finance his next fix.
- That my stress level was extremely high while I racked my brain trying to make sense of the senseless.
- That I had been out of the work force for four or five years by then and had no way of becoming gainfully employed with three kids under the age of four and one on the way.
During this time, I moved back home and in with my Mom. This arrangement would last for almost three years. In the meantime, I had to figure out a way to feed my kids and get them health insurance. C had an atrial septal defect and some mysterious metabolic disorder that doctors at Shands in Gainesville had never fully diagnosed. At the time of our move back North, she was still not walking even though she was 14 months old. R and K were ok, but kids need insurance. You never know what's going to happen next!
My brother-in-law told me I needed to go to Job and Family Services and get food stamps and medicaid for the kids. Really? I had a college degree for Pete's sake! How did my life get so insane? I knew he was right about it, but I was less than thrilled with the idea. However, we needed to eat and I had no means of providing that for them at the time. So, with a heavy heart, I found myself waiting to meet with the nice JFS people who would be able to help me.
During this meeting, the JFS lady that I talked to was very condescending. She made me feel quite small and even ashamed of myself when she asked, "Do ALL of these kids have the same father?" I rather sarcastically said, "Yes, after all I have been married for nearly ten years." Disdainfully, she said, "That just goes to prove you can never really know someone. Did you PLAN to have this MANY kids?" As my anger mounted, I told her I thought it was irrelevant whether or not they were planned since they were already here, it wasn't their fault we were in this situation and they needed to eat. I asked her whether or not JFS would be able to help and if not, then I needed to stop wasting my time there. Unwilling to let the conversation go, she said the following, "You know, if you don't think you can handle ALL of these kids by yourself, it isn't too late, to, well, there are other...things you can.......do." The implication was loud and clear as her voice trailed off; probably in response to my incredulous stare. Make no mistake that what she was telling me was that I could get an abortion and make it easier on myself, the kid's Dad and the state.
As I said, B was my crisis pregnancy. The baby that the nice lady from JFS thought I could possibly, maybe, sort of decide....to do something........else with other than what God intended which was obviously that He wanted me to have her.
At times I was terrified by the thought of losing the baby because of all of the stress I was under. Eventually, I learned to give all of that to God and when I was able to do that, I was able to enjoy the last few weeks of her pregnancy.
B turned nine years old about a month ago and I am still stunned when I remember this conversation. I look at her and the laughter and challenges she presents me with almost every single day, and I cannot imagine what my life would be like without her. She was born with a soft palate cleft. Because of this, she was given multiple hearing tests and she failed every single one of them. At the tender age of ten weeks I was told that she had a nerve hearing loss, that it would remain unclear how much (if anything) she could hear until she was a little older. In the meantime, she was fitted for hearing aids which she began wearing at slightly less than three months of age and I started preparing the older kids for life with a hearing impaired sibling. At one year, the surgeon repaired her soft palate cleft and she has not really had any problems with it since then. She went through some speech therapy at one point and may need to have braces, but other than that, you would not know how her life started out.
At 11 weeks, B developed chronic ear infections due to the cleft. As soon as she would go off the antibiotics she would be right back at the pediatrician's office within a day or two for another round. One day while we were there, I said, "No more. I have had it with this and I want tube surgery now. What good does it do to continuously treat these infections while refusing to treat the source of them? What happens when she starts to become resistant to the antibiotics? She is not waiting until the cleft repair to get tubes." The pediatrician, bound by insurance regulations to document a certain number of infections in order to precipitate the surgery, agreed to call the ENT and see what could be done. Thankfully, he agreed that the requirement of documentation was ridiculous in this case and within two weeks, I had an appointment for surgery.
Just in case you don't think God's hand was on my crisis baby's life, I will never forget the following conversation in the surgical waiting room. The ENT came out to tell me all had gone well, hearing test was normal, tubes were in, B was in recovery, here's some drops...wait a minute, back up, hold your horses. What? Her hearing test was what? The surgeon repeated that B's hearing test came back normal. After the fluid had been drained and the tubes were placed, they conducted another test that showed absolutely no hearing loss of any kind.
Did God heal B of a nerve hearing loss or was it misdiagnosed? Does it matter? God knows. That's all that matters to me. Sometimes He chooses to reveal the end result to us and reserves the details for later; He lets us know what we need to know when we need to know it. That's just how God works. In this case, all He needed me to do was to entrust the life of my baby to Him. I tend to believe B got a miracle that day. Regardless, the preacher from my church was with me as was another friend from church. Scott jumped up from his chair and said, "Praise the Lord!" Loud. And it was still pretty early in the morning. A few people looked at us. I sat in stunned silence. I had purchased a teddy bear for B that played "Jesus Loves Me". I am convinced that she never really heard that bear until I went back to see her in recovery and played it for her and sang a very tearful rendition of that song. Praise the Lord indeed.
Today, B is a challenge sometimes. It takes her forever to get ready in the morning. She moves at one pace; hers. She loves to read, she loves to sing and she loves Jesus. She is not content to hear about Moses, Noah or the miracles Jesus performed. She wants to see them in the Bible and read them for herself. She knows where to look in the Bible to find her name and she thinks that is funny. She loves animals of all kinds and insects of most kinds and flowers and books and sunsets and music. She writes me letters and poems and draws pictures of all kinds which she gives to me on at least a daily basis. She is messy but somehow knows where the items are that she needs in her mess. She is very sensitive and is easily hurt by other kids teasing her. She loves to help people. She looks for the loner on the playground so that child can have a friend. She is good at finding people that others don't notice. She likes to tease adults and makes outrageous faces at people to see what their reaction will be. She has definite ideas about things and I am hard pressed to get her to change her mind. She is definitely a leader, not a follower. I have often said that this child does not march to the beat of her own drum; she has an entire band at her disposal.
B summed up what is important to her like this: "Mom! On Sunday we get to go to church in the morning AND at night. On Monday we get to go to BSF which is sort of like church since we learn about God and the Bible. Then we have to wait until Wednesday until we can go to church again. After that we have to go through Thursday, Friday and Saturday until we can go to church again on Sunday."
I wasn't sure what I was going to name Bethany but in the end Richard helped me to decide. He told me he liked Bethany the best out of the two names I had narrowed it down to. After he picked the name, I told him Bethany was the name of the place where Jesus' friends lived and that I thought it would be cool if Jesus' would someday be her friend too. My little sister picked out her middle name: Rae. I always tell B that she is my little ray of sunshine. Sometimes it's a little ray because she's clouding up the skies with her attitude. And sometimes, it's because I can truly see Jesus in the face of this child, my crisis pregnancy, the child that I was advised to seek "alternatives" for. Perhaps.
All kids are miracles, blessings, gifts from God. However, I also believe that every now and then one of them stands out because of their circumstances and shows us just how amazing God really is. When I look at B and remember, I KNOW God's hand was and will continue to be in it all. Pretty cool!
Psalm 139:13-17 For thou didst form my inward parts: Thou didst cover me in my mother's womb.
14 I will give thanks unto thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Wonderful are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well.
15 My frame was not hidden from thee, When I was made in secret, And curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Thine eyes did see mine unformed substance; And in thy book they were all written, Even the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them!
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith Jehovah, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope in your latter end.
By crisis, I mean:
- That my ex-husband was doing drugs when I got pregnant.
- That he got arrested for possession when I was pregnant.
- That I left my marriage of ten years and eventually filed for divorce.
- That I had no money. None. Not even the several hundred dollars we had in rolled change. Every bit of it, including the pennies had been ransacked and used by my ex-husband who was undoubtedly looking for a way to finance his next fix.
- That my stress level was extremely high while I racked my brain trying to make sense of the senseless.
- That I had been out of the work force for four or five years by then and had no way of becoming gainfully employed with three kids under the age of four and one on the way.
During this time, I moved back home and in with my Mom. This arrangement would last for almost three years. In the meantime, I had to figure out a way to feed my kids and get them health insurance. C had an atrial septal defect and some mysterious metabolic disorder that doctors at Shands in Gainesville had never fully diagnosed. At the time of our move back North, she was still not walking even though she was 14 months old. R and K were ok, but kids need insurance. You never know what's going to happen next!
My brother-in-law told me I needed to go to Job and Family Services and get food stamps and medicaid for the kids. Really? I had a college degree for Pete's sake! How did my life get so insane? I knew he was right about it, but I was less than thrilled with the idea. However, we needed to eat and I had no means of providing that for them at the time. So, with a heavy heart, I found myself waiting to meet with the nice JFS people who would be able to help me.
During this meeting, the JFS lady that I talked to was very condescending. She made me feel quite small and even ashamed of myself when she asked, "Do ALL of these kids have the same father?" I rather sarcastically said, "Yes, after all I have been married for nearly ten years." Disdainfully, she said, "That just goes to prove you can never really know someone. Did you PLAN to have this MANY kids?" As my anger mounted, I told her I thought it was irrelevant whether or not they were planned since they were already here, it wasn't their fault we were in this situation and they needed to eat. I asked her whether or not JFS would be able to help and if not, then I needed to stop wasting my time there. Unwilling to let the conversation go, she said the following, "You know, if you don't think you can handle ALL of these kids by yourself, it isn't too late, to, well, there are other...things you can.......do." The implication was loud and clear as her voice trailed off; probably in response to my incredulous stare. Make no mistake that what she was telling me was that I could get an abortion and make it easier on myself, the kid's Dad and the state.
As I said, B was my crisis pregnancy. The baby that the nice lady from JFS thought I could possibly, maybe, sort of decide....to do something........else with other than what God intended which was obviously that He wanted me to have her.
At times I was terrified by the thought of losing the baby because of all of the stress I was under. Eventually, I learned to give all of that to God and when I was able to do that, I was able to enjoy the last few weeks of her pregnancy.
B turned nine years old about a month ago and I am still stunned when I remember this conversation. I look at her and the laughter and challenges she presents me with almost every single day, and I cannot imagine what my life would be like without her. She was born with a soft palate cleft. Because of this, she was given multiple hearing tests and she failed every single one of them. At the tender age of ten weeks I was told that she had a nerve hearing loss, that it would remain unclear how much (if anything) she could hear until she was a little older. In the meantime, she was fitted for hearing aids which she began wearing at slightly less than three months of age and I started preparing the older kids for life with a hearing impaired sibling. At one year, the surgeon repaired her soft palate cleft and she has not really had any problems with it since then. She went through some speech therapy at one point and may need to have braces, but other than that, you would not know how her life started out.
At 11 weeks, B developed chronic ear infections due to the cleft. As soon as she would go off the antibiotics she would be right back at the pediatrician's office within a day or two for another round. One day while we were there, I said, "No more. I have had it with this and I want tube surgery now. What good does it do to continuously treat these infections while refusing to treat the source of them? What happens when she starts to become resistant to the antibiotics? She is not waiting until the cleft repair to get tubes." The pediatrician, bound by insurance regulations to document a certain number of infections in order to precipitate the surgery, agreed to call the ENT and see what could be done. Thankfully, he agreed that the requirement of documentation was ridiculous in this case and within two weeks, I had an appointment for surgery.
Just in case you don't think God's hand was on my crisis baby's life, I will never forget the following conversation in the surgical waiting room. The ENT came out to tell me all had gone well, hearing test was normal, tubes were in, B was in recovery, here's some drops...wait a minute, back up, hold your horses. What? Her hearing test was what? The surgeon repeated that B's hearing test came back normal. After the fluid had been drained and the tubes were placed, they conducted another test that showed absolutely no hearing loss of any kind.
Did God heal B of a nerve hearing loss or was it misdiagnosed? Does it matter? God knows. That's all that matters to me. Sometimes He chooses to reveal the end result to us and reserves the details for later; He lets us know what we need to know when we need to know it. That's just how God works. In this case, all He needed me to do was to entrust the life of my baby to Him. I tend to believe B got a miracle that day. Regardless, the preacher from my church was with me as was another friend from church. Scott jumped up from his chair and said, "Praise the Lord!" Loud. And it was still pretty early in the morning. A few people looked at us. I sat in stunned silence. I had purchased a teddy bear for B that played "Jesus Loves Me". I am convinced that she never really heard that bear until I went back to see her in recovery and played it for her and sang a very tearful rendition of that song. Praise the Lord indeed.
Today, B is a challenge sometimes. It takes her forever to get ready in the morning. She moves at one pace; hers. She loves to read, she loves to sing and she loves Jesus. She is not content to hear about Moses, Noah or the miracles Jesus performed. She wants to see them in the Bible and read them for herself. She knows where to look in the Bible to find her name and she thinks that is funny. She loves animals of all kinds and insects of most kinds and flowers and books and sunsets and music. She writes me letters and poems and draws pictures of all kinds which she gives to me on at least a daily basis. She is messy but somehow knows where the items are that she needs in her mess. She is very sensitive and is easily hurt by other kids teasing her. She loves to help people. She looks for the loner on the playground so that child can have a friend. She is good at finding people that others don't notice. She likes to tease adults and makes outrageous faces at people to see what their reaction will be. She has definite ideas about things and I am hard pressed to get her to change her mind. She is definitely a leader, not a follower. I have often said that this child does not march to the beat of her own drum; she has an entire band at her disposal.
B summed up what is important to her like this: "Mom! On Sunday we get to go to church in the morning AND at night. On Monday we get to go to BSF which is sort of like church since we learn about God and the Bible. Then we have to wait until Wednesday until we can go to church again. After that we have to go through Thursday, Friday and Saturday until we can go to church again on Sunday."
I wasn't sure what I was going to name Bethany but in the end Richard helped me to decide. He told me he liked Bethany the best out of the two names I had narrowed it down to. After he picked the name, I told him Bethany was the name of the place where Jesus' friends lived and that I thought it would be cool if Jesus' would someday be her friend too. My little sister picked out her middle name: Rae. I always tell B that she is my little ray of sunshine. Sometimes it's a little ray because she's clouding up the skies with her attitude. And sometimes, it's because I can truly see Jesus in the face of this child, my crisis pregnancy, the child that I was advised to seek "alternatives" for. Perhaps.
All kids are miracles, blessings, gifts from God. However, I also believe that every now and then one of them stands out because of their circumstances and shows us just how amazing God really is. When I look at B and remember, I KNOW God's hand was and will continue to be in it all. Pretty cool!
Psalm 139:13-17 For thou didst form my inward parts: Thou didst cover me in my mother's womb.
14 I will give thanks unto thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Wonderful are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well.
15 My frame was not hidden from thee, When I was made in secret, And curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Thine eyes did see mine unformed substance; And in thy book they were all written, Even the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them!
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith Jehovah, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope in your latter end.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Val
This is my sister. She wears combat boots. See?
After the combat boot stage, she started wearing this. We tried to tell her that NO ONE was wearing five-stripe purple and white socks anymore but she scoffed at us. She maintained that ALL the cool kids were carrying their t-bones, wearing those socks, what amounted to see through white shirts and those oh so attractive coach's shorts. No amount of reasoning could ever change her mind.
In the winter time, she decided that coach's shorts weren't warm enough so she started wearing this:
"Welcome Back Kotter" was very popular in the early 80's. Instead of saying, "Up your nose with a rubber hose", Val started saying, "Up your nose with my F attachment". Anyway, I guess she somehow thought that t-bone was THE accessory of the Class of 1981. It was very embarrassing to go anywhere with her because it was hard for her to get in the car with that nutty busby on, let alone make room for her trombone. She seemed to get a lot of joy out of poking people in the back of the head with her slide. Not to mention the fact that she was always taking that stupid busby off and eating something out of it like it was the drive through at McDonalds or something! Mel and I probably should have told Mom and Dad that Val was driving the car by using her slide to push the gas pedal instead of using her feet, which is the TRUE story about what happened to the orange car. Also, it's probably a good thing that no one had cell phones in the early 80's. Can you imagine driving the car with your slide, getting a snack out of your hat and texting at the same time? Insanity, I tell you! Inevitably, one day she was stopped by the police for driving while playing her trombone and this is her mug shot:
You would think that she would eventually outgrow this outlandish fashion she apparently loved to dress in. However, you would be wrong. Once she got out of high school, she graduated to this:
I said all that to say that I am thankful for my sister. It might not sound like it since I spent the first part of this entry, ribbing her for her (lack of) fashion sense. However, it is true that I am thankful for her. Here's why:
1. She used to beat me up a lot when we were kids because she was mean. Just kidding. Usually I deserved it because, shockingly, I was quite mouthy when I was younger and I used to do stuff to annoy her on purpose. Because of that, she had to show me how to shut up. A lot. :)
2. She let me live with her when I was in college.
3. She didn't get too mad at me and Mel when we ate the cheese and grapes she had ready to take with her on her honeymoon. That’s probably because she was planning on wearing that stupid busby and stuffing food in there on her wedding day until Mel and I refused to be bridesmaids if she did. I’m pretty sure that if Keith had known about that, he would have thanked us long ago, since the busby would have ruined all of the wedding pictures. Your welcome Keith!
4. She lets me write stupid stuff like this about her and she will laugh whether she thinks it's funny or not. Probably because I will hold a table knife to her throat while she is reading it. Just kidding. I've never actually written about Val so I don't know if she will laugh or not and I have never held a table knife to her throat.
5. Val and Keith have a strong marriage that they work very hard to maintain. Even though they have problems just like everyone else, they work hard to put God first in their lives and their marriage and it shows.
6. She is a good example of what being a Christian means.
7. She is a good example of what being a Christian wife and mother means.
8. She homeschools all of her kids and is a good example for that too.
9. She likes to help other people and she does it quietly, without seeking recognition for it.
10. When she was a nurse, she was good at it and she still is even though she hasn't practiced it in a hospital setting for a long time now.
11. She likes to have fun and laugh and was fun to be around when we were kids. Except for that stupid alarm she had which was annoyingly loud and which she refused to ever get up and shut off, which of course made me and Mel have to listen to it and then pound on the wall until our hands were bloody from the little glass flecks Dad put in the plaster so it would sparkle and which were now embedded in our hands and then finally Val would finally stumble out of bed and shut it off and then stumble back into bed in order to ensure that she would be late for whatever she was supposed to be getting up for. Other than that though, she was ok.
12. She used to write run-on sentences (see above example) and spell stuff wrong and then ask me to fix her English Comp essays. I'm not sure Shakespeare could have fixed them. Also, he was dead even when Val was in school and even though she didn't know who he was. She does now though because she had to teach it to her kids.
13. I learned a lot from her since she is much older than I am. Some of the lessons I am unable to repeat here because they would get all three of us in trouble and they are not politically correct. Not that any of us are too concerned about being politically correct. For the record, the lesson that I vaguely refer to is historically accurate. We just can't repeat it. Shhhhh!
14. Even though my, ahem, creativity sometimes annoys her, she laughs anyway. Sometimes she rolls her eyes though.
15. She used to dutifully get out her dictionary to look up words I would use just to see what I was talking about or to prove that I was making up a word. Occasionally, I had to make up words to see if my family was paying attention to me since I was the middle kid who was always ignored. Now, Val just looks on webster.com or asks Deanna. Also, since Deanna knows more words than I do, I can’t make up words anymore.
16. When I "occasionally" act like a fool, she forgives me.
17. She doesn't compromise on what she believes is important.
18. She doesn't sweat. I mean, she sweats because everyone does, but she doesn't worry about stuff.
19. She is smart.
20. She is my sister and we have been through a lot of junk together. At times, the junk has divided us, but we have found ways around it, over it, through it or off it (anyone want to sled off the roof?) and figured out how to forgive when and where it was necessary. She has been and continues to be profoundly influential in my life and quite simply, I love her.
This is Val and Keith in Gatlinburg this summer. They will be married for 21 years in March!
I took poetic license with the fourth picture. Any good brass player will know that is just a regular ol’ slide trombone and not an F attachment.
Once again, we tried to help her out by telling her that busby was over the top. I don't care if she did have five pounds of apples and a two pound bag of M&Ms in there for her after halftime snack, no one, and I mean NO ONE, was wearing the busby with the orange dicky by the early 80's. Here’s why: A) No one wants to eat an apple that has been stored on top of a sweaty head and B) M&Ms might not melt in your hand, but I guarantee they melt in a busby while marching Big Ten style pre-game and halftime shows! The other problem with this attire was that most of her class had stopped wearing clothes with giant letters on them sometime around Kindergarten. We told her if she didn't stop wearing stuff like this people were going to start talking. This was her response:
"Welcome Back Kotter" was very popular in the early 80's. Instead of saying, "Up your nose with a rubber hose", Val started saying, "Up your nose with my F attachment". Anyway, I guess she somehow thought that t-bone was THE accessory of the Class of 1981. It was very embarrassing to go anywhere with her because it was hard for her to get in the car with that nutty busby on, let alone make room for her trombone. She seemed to get a lot of joy out of poking people in the back of the head with her slide. Not to mention the fact that she was always taking that stupid busby off and eating something out of it like it was the drive through at McDonalds or something! Mel and I probably should have told Mom and Dad that Val was driving the car by using her slide to push the gas pedal instead of using her feet, which is the TRUE story about what happened to the orange car. Also, it's probably a good thing that no one had cell phones in the early 80's. Can you imagine driving the car with your slide, getting a snack out of your hat and texting at the same time? Insanity, I tell you! Inevitably, one day she was stopped by the police for driving while playing her trombone and this is her mug shot:
You would think that she would eventually outgrow this outlandish fashion she apparently loved to dress in. However, you would be wrong. Once she got out of high school, she graduated to this:
Yes, it is true that my sister was a Marching Rocket from Toledo at one time in her life. She still has the pulled muscles to prove that she could double time into the end zone at every home game while shouting "T...O...L...E...D...O....Toledo!". She was also immortalized on the front page of the Blade when someone took a picture of her doing sit ups during "two-a-days" band camp. To be honest, I'm not sure how she managed to survive these practices at UT since that hat is obviously not big enough to store enough fortification inside of it.
I said all that to say that I am thankful for my sister. It might not sound like it since I spent the first part of this entry, ribbing her for her (lack of) fashion sense. However, it is true that I am thankful for her. Here's why:
1. She used to beat me up a lot when we were kids because she was mean. Just kidding. Usually I deserved it because, shockingly, I was quite mouthy when I was younger and I used to do stuff to annoy her on purpose. Because of that, she had to show me how to shut up. A lot. :)
2. She let me live with her when I was in college.
3. She didn't get too mad at me and Mel when we ate the cheese and grapes she had ready to take with her on her honeymoon. That’s probably because she was planning on wearing that stupid busby and stuffing food in there on her wedding day until Mel and I refused to be bridesmaids if she did. I’m pretty sure that if Keith had known about that, he would have thanked us long ago, since the busby would have ruined all of the wedding pictures. Your welcome Keith!
4. She lets me write stupid stuff like this about her and she will laugh whether she thinks it's funny or not. Probably because I will hold a table knife to her throat while she is reading it. Just kidding. I've never actually written about Val so I don't know if she will laugh or not and I have never held a table knife to her throat.
5. Val and Keith have a strong marriage that they work very hard to maintain. Even though they have problems just like everyone else, they work hard to put God first in their lives and their marriage and it shows.
6. She is a good example of what being a Christian means.
7. She is a good example of what being a Christian wife and mother means.
8. She homeschools all of her kids and is a good example for that too.
9. She likes to help other people and she does it quietly, without seeking recognition for it.
10. When she was a nurse, she was good at it and she still is even though she hasn't practiced it in a hospital setting for a long time now.
11. She likes to have fun and laugh and was fun to be around when we were kids. Except for that stupid alarm she had which was annoyingly loud and which she refused to ever get up and shut off, which of course made me and Mel have to listen to it and then pound on the wall until our hands were bloody from the little glass flecks Dad put in the plaster so it would sparkle and which were now embedded in our hands and then finally Val would finally stumble out of bed and shut it off and then stumble back into bed in order to ensure that she would be late for whatever she was supposed to be getting up for. Other than that though, she was ok.
12. She used to write run-on sentences (see above example) and spell stuff wrong and then ask me to fix her English Comp essays. I'm not sure Shakespeare could have fixed them. Also, he was dead even when Val was in school and even though she didn't know who he was. She does now though because she had to teach it to her kids.
13. I learned a lot from her since she is much older than I am. Some of the lessons I am unable to repeat here because they would get all three of us in trouble and they are not politically correct. Not that any of us are too concerned about being politically correct. For the record, the lesson that I vaguely refer to is historically accurate. We just can't repeat it. Shhhhh!
14. Even though my, ahem, creativity sometimes annoys her, she laughs anyway. Sometimes she rolls her eyes though.
15. She used to dutifully get out her dictionary to look up words I would use just to see what I was talking about or to prove that I was making up a word. Occasionally, I had to make up words to see if my family was paying attention to me since I was the middle kid who was always ignored. Now, Val just looks on webster.com or asks Deanna. Also, since Deanna knows more words than I do, I can’t make up words anymore.
16. When I "occasionally" act like a fool, she forgives me.
17. She doesn't compromise on what she believes is important.
18. She doesn't sweat. I mean, she sweats because everyone does, but she doesn't worry about stuff.
19. She is smart.
20. She is my sister and we have been through a lot of junk together. At times, the junk has divided us, but we have found ways around it, over it, through it or off it (anyone want to sled off the roof?) and figured out how to forgive when and where it was necessary. She has been and continues to be profoundly influential in my life and quite simply, I love her.
This is Val and Keith in Gatlinburg this summer. They will be married for 21 years in March!
I took poetic license with the fourth picture. Any good brass player will know that is just a regular ol’ slide trombone and not an F attachment.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
My Dad
My Dad was 30 years old when I was born. My earliest memory of him is watching him shave his scratchy beard one Sunday morning before church. It was fascinating to watch that white shaving cream disappear off his face and underneath it, there was my Dad. He was pretty handsome too!
Other early memories of him mostly center around him working and cooking. Dad worked harder than anyone else I knew. He was self-employed, doing home improvement projects such as siding, windows, room additions, etc. He learned from my Grandfather who was a stickler for doing things right. My Dad even built us a house when I was a kid. None of my friend's dad's built their houses, so that was pretty cool. I also secretly thought my Dad was probably smarter than their dad's were because a house is a big thing to build! When I was probably around four, I remember riding my tricycle on the foundation of what would be our house. You could see the lights from the air traffic control tower of the Toledo Express airport that night so I asked my Dad what they were for. He told me the light directed the airplanes to the runway so they could land safely. I remember thinking my Dad was smart! He knew about houses and airplanes!
My Dad is a funny man, the life of the party who always has a joke to tell or a funny story. By the time I hit high school, the house was built and we had huge New Year's Eve parties. Friends from church, friends from high school and family members attended these parties. There were friends who were allowed to come to our house only because their parents knew there wouldn't be any contraband at the Bloomer household. I distinctly remember walking through the dining room to get something and my Dad had everyone mesmerized by some story he was telling about his shenanigans as a teenager or some silly staff person he had who had committed some crazy offense. He was laughing so hard his face was red and tears were nearly streaming down his cheeks. So was everyone else. I was laughing too and I hadn't even heard the whole story! I was just laughing because he had everyone else laughing so hard! He was a great story teller and loves to laugh and make others laugh. My sisters and I get our sense of humor from him; the life of the party.
My Dad has had a lot of health problems throughout his lifetime, but the one that impacted me the most were the injuries he sustained as the result of falling off a ladder that was 20 feet in the air. Technically, he rode the ladder to the ground as the scaffolding collapsed causing the ladder to slip down the side of the house he was working on. Miraculously, he managed not to break any bones. However, the doctors told him he probably would have been better off if he had broken them. His toes touched his shins and he sustained pulled and torn muscles throughout his legs. Upon returning from the hospital, my uncle and grandfather had to help him into the house. The first thing I remember him saying was, "The doctor x-rayed my head. He said there's nothing there." Always the comic relief in spite of the pain.
Dad had to go to bed where he remained for somewhere around two months or so. He had ace bandages from mid-calf to his toes. It looked as if someone had taken a baseball bat and pounded him with it repeatedly. His legs were black, green, purple and yellow, it made me sick to look at them and to this day I cringe when I think of that accident. I did not relish changing the bandages and I think I only did it one or two times. I always tell him that it was his fault I got a business degree instead of becoming a nurse. I never heard him complain and I never saw him worry about how we were going to eat, although I'm sure now, that it had to have been on his mind. I am equally sure that for someone as active as he was, it could not have been easy to lay in that bed recovering.
He has had other major surgeries and has the scars and stories to prove that which would have crippled others with the pain he has endured. A few years ago he was in the hospital for a torn muscle that had bled internally. By the time he went to the doctor, he was a half step away from gangrene and they did emergency surgery to save his leg. The day after surgery when I was visiting him, he was harassing the nurse and had him laughing so hard he could barely do his job. In observing how my Dad has handled these situations in his life, I have learned that even in the midst of excruciating pain or dire circumstances, you don't have to be mean to people and it is possible to always put a positive spin on things.
My Dad is a very generous person. He would give someone his shirt and then go get another one if it was necessary. Over the years, he has helped provide a nice place for many mentally retarded adults to live. He has helped other people anonymously over the years. I think my Dad is really at his best when he is helping others whether that means he is repairing something in their home or if that means he is helping someone less fortunate than himself. I learned to look for opportunities to help other people by watching my Dad.
My Dad is a good cook and he is generous with his cooking. He makes the best gravy that ever graced a heap of mashed potatoes. He learned to cook from my Grandma who was also a great cook. A few years ago I made some ham gravy and it was so good it reminded me of Dad's. I called him that afternoon and said, "Well, I did it. My gravy was as good as yours." He just laughed. I don't make gravy very often anymore, but when I do, one of the kids will say, "This is almost as good as Grandpa's." I guess I haven't quite achieved perfection on the gravy front.
Dad's skill isn't limited to gravy though. A roast has never been as tender and juicy as the roast beef that comes out of Dad's kitchen. Ham has never really been well cooked unless it is his. Dad's chili is also the best around. If you like hot dogs on the grill, you have never really had one until you've had Dad's. Dad's chocolate chip cookies, with or without pecans, will make you wish you knew his secret. I know the secret, but I'm not telling! Here's a classic Dad line, "You know what that tasted like? It tasted like another one!" as he gets up to fill his plate again.
A few years ago I was in dire straits while I was living in Florida. Due to something that came up with my ex-husband, we were not very safe where we were living. Dad happened to call the night after this situation and I told him what happened. He told me he was coming down to get us. On one hand, I did not want him to come since I knew he had just gotten home and I didn't see how he was going to be able to make the 17 hour trip back down. On the other hand, I had no money, no gas and I was quite concerned for our safety. I started loading our van with the kids stuff and tried to pass the time. I did not realize how stressed out I was until I saw Dad's truck and trailer pull into the driveway. I almost collapsed with relief and sheer exhaustion. That 17 hour trip he had somehow managed to shorten to 15 and some change. I still don't know how he did it, but I was sure happy that he did!
It is difficult to express the impact that a parent's life has on the life of their child. I guess it can be best summed up by saying very simply that I love my Dad and maybe even more importantly, I respect the person that he is and the person that he helped teach me to become. Dad is not perfect, but the good thing about that is he does not expect me to be perfect either. When our imperfections cause problems, we have learned to overlook them or in the case of causing hurt feelings, we have learned to forgive each other and move on. We have laughed together, cried together, been mad together and through it all learned to truly enjoy each other's company.
I am forever thankful for my Dad's influence in my life, for the stability he gave me when I was a kid and the support he has shown me as an adult. He may not be perfect, but as the country song says, "that's close enough to perfect for me", because he was and continues to be exactly what God knew I needed.
Thanks Dad! :)
Here's our house that Dad and Grandpa built. That's Dad in the planter and in case you were wondering, that's Indiana limestone on the exterior of the house.
Other early memories of him mostly center around him working and cooking. Dad worked harder than anyone else I knew. He was self-employed, doing home improvement projects such as siding, windows, room additions, etc. He learned from my Grandfather who was a stickler for doing things right. My Dad even built us a house when I was a kid. None of my friend's dad's built their houses, so that was pretty cool. I also secretly thought my Dad was probably smarter than their dad's were because a house is a big thing to build! When I was probably around four, I remember riding my tricycle on the foundation of what would be our house. You could see the lights from the air traffic control tower of the Toledo Express airport that night so I asked my Dad what they were for. He told me the light directed the airplanes to the runway so they could land safely. I remember thinking my Dad was smart! He knew about houses and airplanes!
My Dad is a funny man, the life of the party who always has a joke to tell or a funny story. By the time I hit high school, the house was built and we had huge New Year's Eve parties. Friends from church, friends from high school and family members attended these parties. There were friends who were allowed to come to our house only because their parents knew there wouldn't be any contraband at the Bloomer household. I distinctly remember walking through the dining room to get something and my Dad had everyone mesmerized by some story he was telling about his shenanigans as a teenager or some silly staff person he had who had committed some crazy offense. He was laughing so hard his face was red and tears were nearly streaming down his cheeks. So was everyone else. I was laughing too and I hadn't even heard the whole story! I was just laughing because he had everyone else laughing so hard! He was a great story teller and loves to laugh and make others laugh. My sisters and I get our sense of humor from him; the life of the party.
My Dad has had a lot of health problems throughout his lifetime, but the one that impacted me the most were the injuries he sustained as the result of falling off a ladder that was 20 feet in the air. Technically, he rode the ladder to the ground as the scaffolding collapsed causing the ladder to slip down the side of the house he was working on. Miraculously, he managed not to break any bones. However, the doctors told him he probably would have been better off if he had broken them. His toes touched his shins and he sustained pulled and torn muscles throughout his legs. Upon returning from the hospital, my uncle and grandfather had to help him into the house. The first thing I remember him saying was, "The doctor x-rayed my head. He said there's nothing there." Always the comic relief in spite of the pain.
Dad had to go to bed where he remained for somewhere around two months or so. He had ace bandages from mid-calf to his toes. It looked as if someone had taken a baseball bat and pounded him with it repeatedly. His legs were black, green, purple and yellow, it made me sick to look at them and to this day I cringe when I think of that accident. I did not relish changing the bandages and I think I only did it one or two times. I always tell him that it was his fault I got a business degree instead of becoming a nurse. I never heard him complain and I never saw him worry about how we were going to eat, although I'm sure now, that it had to have been on his mind. I am equally sure that for someone as active as he was, it could not have been easy to lay in that bed recovering.
He has had other major surgeries and has the scars and stories to prove that which would have crippled others with the pain he has endured. A few years ago he was in the hospital for a torn muscle that had bled internally. By the time he went to the doctor, he was a half step away from gangrene and they did emergency surgery to save his leg. The day after surgery when I was visiting him, he was harassing the nurse and had him laughing so hard he could barely do his job. In observing how my Dad has handled these situations in his life, I have learned that even in the midst of excruciating pain or dire circumstances, you don't have to be mean to people and it is possible to always put a positive spin on things.
My Dad is a very generous person. He would give someone his shirt and then go get another one if it was necessary. Over the years, he has helped provide a nice place for many mentally retarded adults to live. He has helped other people anonymously over the years. I think my Dad is really at his best when he is helping others whether that means he is repairing something in their home or if that means he is helping someone less fortunate than himself. I learned to look for opportunities to help other people by watching my Dad.
My Dad is a good cook and he is generous with his cooking. He makes the best gravy that ever graced a heap of mashed potatoes. He learned to cook from my Grandma who was also a great cook. A few years ago I made some ham gravy and it was so good it reminded me of Dad's. I called him that afternoon and said, "Well, I did it. My gravy was as good as yours." He just laughed. I don't make gravy very often anymore, but when I do, one of the kids will say, "This is almost as good as Grandpa's." I guess I haven't quite achieved perfection on the gravy front.
Dad's skill isn't limited to gravy though. A roast has never been as tender and juicy as the roast beef that comes out of Dad's kitchen. Ham has never really been well cooked unless it is his. Dad's chili is also the best around. If you like hot dogs on the grill, you have never really had one until you've had Dad's. Dad's chocolate chip cookies, with or without pecans, will make you wish you knew his secret. I know the secret, but I'm not telling! Here's a classic Dad line, "You know what that tasted like? It tasted like another one!" as he gets up to fill his plate again.
A few years ago I was in dire straits while I was living in Florida. Due to something that came up with my ex-husband, we were not very safe where we were living. Dad happened to call the night after this situation and I told him what happened. He told me he was coming down to get us. On one hand, I did not want him to come since I knew he had just gotten home and I didn't see how he was going to be able to make the 17 hour trip back down. On the other hand, I had no money, no gas and I was quite concerned for our safety. I started loading our van with the kids stuff and tried to pass the time. I did not realize how stressed out I was until I saw Dad's truck and trailer pull into the driveway. I almost collapsed with relief and sheer exhaustion. That 17 hour trip he had somehow managed to shorten to 15 and some change. I still don't know how he did it, but I was sure happy that he did!
It is difficult to express the impact that a parent's life has on the life of their child. I guess it can be best summed up by saying very simply that I love my Dad and maybe even more importantly, I respect the person that he is and the person that he helped teach me to become. Dad is not perfect, but the good thing about that is he does not expect me to be perfect either. When our imperfections cause problems, we have learned to overlook them or in the case of causing hurt feelings, we have learned to forgive each other and move on. We have laughed together, cried together, been mad together and through it all learned to truly enjoy each other's company.
I am forever thankful for my Dad's influence in my life, for the stability he gave me when I was a kid and the support he has shown me as an adult. He may not be perfect, but as the country song says, "that's close enough to perfect for me", because he was and continues to be exactly what God knew I needed.
Thanks Dad! :)
Here's our house that Dad and Grandpa built. That's Dad in the planter and in case you were wondering, that's Indiana limestone on the exterior of the house.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
The Thanksgiving Challenge
The DJs on the radio station I generally listen to issued a challenge today about telling someone something you are thankful for everyday between now and Thanksgiving. Since I am prone to exaggeration, I thought it would be neat to blog each day about that which I am grateful for instead of just saying it to someone. Why not go over the top with it? Since I am probably not disciplined enough to write here regularly, I doubt that is going to happen. However, I am confident that there are enough things that God has blessed me with that I could make a list of something for each day of the year. I am also intrigued by what impact it might have in my life and in the lives of those around me.
Would I spend more time looking for the good in various situations or people that God has placed in my life?
Would I be better at detecting God's presence in a difficult situation?
Would I see people more through His eyes instead of through my own cloudy vision?
Would I be closer to God at the end of this challenge?
How would it impact the lives of my family and friends?
In her book, The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom said that when she was in the Auschwitz concentration camp, she was thankful for the lice that were rampant throughout the barracks. She said as long as they had lice, the Nazi guards refused to come in so Corrie and her sister Betsy were able to worship God right in the middle of all of that death and destruction. I remember reading this when I was about ten or so and thinking it would be so gross to have lice. I guess I completely missed the fact that lice were the least of their worries in the middle of the holocaust. It wasn't until I was older that I was able to appreciate what she was really saying: even in the direst of circumstances, there is something to be thankful for; even if it is lice.
I have often said that I think thanksgiving should be an attitude, a state of mind, instead of something we focus on just one day each year. But sometimes I get bogged down with day to day living and I forget to focus on what I am thankful for and what God has done for me. I'm going to try and change that through this experiment.
So KLove, I will accept your challenge and see where it leads me. Maybe I'll still be blogging about what I'm thankful for this time next year.
Psalm 92:1-4
1 It is good to give thanks to the Lord and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
2 To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning and Your faithfulness by night,
3 With the ten-stringed lute and with the harp, with resounding music upon the lyre.
4 For You, O Lord, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.
Would I spend more time looking for the good in various situations or people that God has placed in my life?
Would I be better at detecting God's presence in a difficult situation?
Would I see people more through His eyes instead of through my own cloudy vision?
Would I be closer to God at the end of this challenge?
How would it impact the lives of my family and friends?
In her book, The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom said that when she was in the Auschwitz concentration camp, she was thankful for the lice that were rampant throughout the barracks. She said as long as they had lice, the Nazi guards refused to come in so Corrie and her sister Betsy were able to worship God right in the middle of all of that death and destruction. I remember reading this when I was about ten or so and thinking it would be so gross to have lice. I guess I completely missed the fact that lice were the least of their worries in the middle of the holocaust. It wasn't until I was older that I was able to appreciate what she was really saying: even in the direst of circumstances, there is something to be thankful for; even if it is lice.
I have often said that I think thanksgiving should be an attitude, a state of mind, instead of something we focus on just one day each year. But sometimes I get bogged down with day to day living and I forget to focus on what I am thankful for and what God has done for me. I'm going to try and change that through this experiment.
So KLove, I will accept your challenge and see where it leads me. Maybe I'll still be blogging about what I'm thankful for this time next year.
Psalm 92:1-4
1 It is good to give thanks to the Lord and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
2 To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning and Your faithfulness by night,
3 With the ten-stringed lute and with the harp, with resounding music upon the lyre.
4 For You, O Lord, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Be Still
I used to sing a very simple song to the kids when they were babies:
"Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am God."
When Corinne was in the hospital at five months old and no one knew what was wrong with her, I held that tiny little baby and through the tears of a scared mother, sang the second verse:
"I am the God who healeth thee.
I am the God who healeth thee.
I am the God who healeth the."
No one knew if she was going to make it through the night or not. But God did and it comforted me to know that He did. I needed to be still and know that the situation was under His control. Two years later, I held another one of my babies in a different hospital and sang the same song.
"Be still and know that I am God
I am the God who healeth thee
Be still and know that I am God"
Recently, some situations came up that gave me pause to really think about the simple words, meaning and truth conveyed in this chorus. Be still...settle down, calm your thoughts, give them to God and He will replace your thoughts with His own. When we are calm, we are able to listen. It is comforting when we replace our worry with His quiet strength. Be still so that you can listen to His calm voice.
...and know that I am God. There is no other besides Him. God is our provider, protector, our Physician, friend, comforter, our Abba Father, our beginning and end. If we have Him, we don't really need anything else.
What I came to realize that night was that God was telling me I needed to slow down and stop running ahead of the game. I can't know His will if I'm ahead, behind or beside it. I have to be right in the center of His will to know what it is. Only God knows what is up the road and He will reveal that to me when the time is right. He knows the outcome of every trial we face, personally, in our families and as a nation.
Be still and know that I am God.
Cast all your worry and fear at the feet of a loving Saviour and be still so you can know that He IS God.
Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
"Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am God."
When Corinne was in the hospital at five months old and no one knew what was wrong with her, I held that tiny little baby and through the tears of a scared mother, sang the second verse:
"I am the God who healeth thee.
I am the God who healeth thee.
I am the God who healeth the."
No one knew if she was going to make it through the night or not. But God did and it comforted me to know that He did. I needed to be still and know that the situation was under His control. Two years later, I held another one of my babies in a different hospital and sang the same song.
"Be still and know that I am God
I am the God who healeth thee
Be still and know that I am God"
Recently, some situations came up that gave me pause to really think about the simple words, meaning and truth conveyed in this chorus. Be still...settle down, calm your thoughts, give them to God and He will replace your thoughts with His own. When we are calm, we are able to listen. It is comforting when we replace our worry with His quiet strength. Be still so that you can listen to His calm voice.
...and know that I am God. There is no other besides Him. God is our provider, protector, our Physician, friend, comforter, our Abba Father, our beginning and end. If we have Him, we don't really need anything else.
What I came to realize that night was that God was telling me I needed to slow down and stop running ahead of the game. I can't know His will if I'm ahead, behind or beside it. I have to be right in the center of His will to know what it is. Only God knows what is up the road and He will reveal that to me when the time is right. He knows the outcome of every trial we face, personally, in our families and as a nation.
Be still and know that I am God.
Cast all your worry and fear at the feet of a loving Saviour and be still so you can know that He IS God.
Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
The Splendor of Your Creation
Ever since the kids were young, I wanted them to pay attention to the cool stuff God does for us in nature. In the springtime, I wanted them to notice the trees when they started to bud and the flowers pushing up through the slushy snow. In the summer, I had them literally pause to smell the flowers. When it was fall, we took walks in the metroparks and marvelled at the pretty colors when the leaves were changing. In the winter, I tried to draw their attention to the way the snow drifted, the way it would stick to the trees and create a winter wonderland.
At night, I would point out different constellations. We watched eclipses and looked for falling stars. When Venus was visible in the night sky, I identified it for the kids. Their attention was drawn to brilliant sunsets and dark clouds rolling in for a summer storm. We were excited when we would see rainbows; especially double rainbows which inevitably led to conversations about how God promised never to flood the earth again.
One night, Mike and I stood in awe when we witnessed the Milky Way in a spectacularly clear display of stars. While we watched, a heron flew across the horizon, it's shadow floating just in front of the moon. He called me once around 4:30 am and insisted that I go outside on a very cold morning. I stood in our yard in NW Ohio and witnessed the Northern Lights; cool green, off white and red lights danced across the sky above our garage and it made me clap with delight that God's creation was singing praises to Him and that as insignificant as I am, I was able to witness it!
I told the kids that all of these things were God's way of making us pay attention to Him and said we should never be too busy to appreciate the beautiful things He created for us. God could have chosen a designated time for all of the leaves to drop from the trees. Instead, he paints the landscape with brilliant hues in a fitting send off before nature goes dormant for the winter. He could have spoken the word and turned off the sun at some specified time, but instead he paints the sky with pinks, blues and purples singing a lullaby to the earth before bed.
There was a time in my life when I did not notice such things as often as I should have, but I have since come to understand that God is drawing my attention to Him in these details. Each snowflake is created differently, each sunset and sunrise unique from the day before and each spring and fall are never duplicated.
Psalm 19:1 "The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament showeth His handiwork."
We just have to slow down and pay attention. Having kids helped me do that.
“The Splendor of Your Creation”
As the sun sinks in the western sky
and the horizon is painted in a beautiful lullaby,
I ponder the clouds in their pink and blue dress
while night creeps in, bidding me rest.
In the majesty of the mountains
in the rolling waves of the sea
in the beauty of the sunrise
I can see Your love for me.
How majestic is the eagle
soaring freely on its path
and the rose upon its petals catch
drops of rain from a summer bath.
While in the beauty of the setting sun
in the rolling waves of the sea
in the majesty of the eagle
God's love has set me free.
-T. Bent
July 17, 2004
For Michael T.
At night, I would point out different constellations. We watched eclipses and looked for falling stars. When Venus was visible in the night sky, I identified it for the kids. Their attention was drawn to brilliant sunsets and dark clouds rolling in for a summer storm. We were excited when we would see rainbows; especially double rainbows which inevitably led to conversations about how God promised never to flood the earth again.
One night, Mike and I stood in awe when we witnessed the Milky Way in a spectacularly clear display of stars. While we watched, a heron flew across the horizon, it's shadow floating just in front of the moon. He called me once around 4:30 am and insisted that I go outside on a very cold morning. I stood in our yard in NW Ohio and witnessed the Northern Lights; cool green, off white and red lights danced across the sky above our garage and it made me clap with delight that God's creation was singing praises to Him and that as insignificant as I am, I was able to witness it!
I told the kids that all of these things were God's way of making us pay attention to Him and said we should never be too busy to appreciate the beautiful things He created for us. God could have chosen a designated time for all of the leaves to drop from the trees. Instead, he paints the landscape with brilliant hues in a fitting send off before nature goes dormant for the winter. He could have spoken the word and turned off the sun at some specified time, but instead he paints the sky with pinks, blues and purples singing a lullaby to the earth before bed.
There was a time in my life when I did not notice such things as often as I should have, but I have since come to understand that God is drawing my attention to Him in these details. Each snowflake is created differently, each sunset and sunrise unique from the day before and each spring and fall are never duplicated.
Psalm 19:1 "The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament showeth His handiwork."
We just have to slow down and pay attention. Having kids helped me do that.
“The Splendor of Your Creation”
As the sun sinks in the western sky
and the horizon is painted in a beautiful lullaby,
I ponder the clouds in their pink and blue dress
while night creeps in, bidding me rest.
In the majesty of the mountains
in the rolling waves of the sea
in the beauty of the sunrise
I can see Your love for me.
How majestic is the eagle
soaring freely on its path
and the rose upon its petals catch
drops of rain from a summer bath.
While in the beauty of the setting sun
in the rolling waves of the sea
in the majesty of the eagle
God's love has set me free.
-T. Bent
July 17, 2004
For Michael T.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
A and A Locksmiths
From where I stood, they mocked me. Teasing. Irritating. Relentless. "Haha, you can see me but there's nothing you can do about it because you are out there and I am securely in here." The van keys taunted me from their safe haven on the floor next to the sliding door. To make matters worse, the door was slightly ajar, albeit locked securely from within. First the keys, now the van, both were jeering at me, trying to entice me into doing something rash; like smash a window or something.
I hate keys. One must carry so many of them. My Dad is the King of Keys. He even has a crown and a scepter to prove it. Although it's not really a scepter, it's more like a 25 lb. keyring with hundreds of keys, all mocking, teasing, just like the keys on the floor of my van. "Hey Bob, I'm the one that will unlock the house in TN, or am I? And while we're at this little game Bob, remember that you are too far away to turn back now if I'm not the right key." (insert maniacal laugh track here) "Hey Bob, do you think I'm the key that will unlock the file cabinet that everyone else lost the keys to?" On and on it goes with each additional lock adding to the cacophony of the keyring. Also, Dad's crown isn't really a crown either. It's a paper hat he got for being customer of the month at the Krispy Kreme in Pigeon Forge. They made him honorary donut maker or something like that. He's good at it too. If you order the original glazed donuts, you won't need to worry about getting shorted on your glaze. Your donuts will be swimming in the deep end of the glaze pool. Here's proof:
Mistake #1: I relaxed the rule. The rule is if you do not have a driver's license then you may not have the keys to any motor vehicle. Sometimes rule #1B states "on occasion, even if you DO have a driver's license you may not have the keys if I have had to help you look for them at any time in the past 30 days. Professional Drivers may be exempted from rule 1B at the discretion of this writer." Regardless, we happened to be at the church picnic and one of the kids NEEDED something out of the van. "OK, but you better bring me back these keys immediately." The immediate return of the keys ended up being an immediate notification that the keys were securely locked inside the van. I awarded partial credit for this.
Mistake #2: Paying for AAA. For $175 we have three yearly memberships to AAA. We have never called them in the 18 months that we have had it. On the day of the key incident, I thought, "So, the keys are locked in the van. No big deal, I'll just call AAA. That's why we bought it right?" Apparently, AAA is sort of like car insurance: When something happens and you need to use it, you are terrified to make the call.
Mistake #3: Locking my wallet in the van with the keys. It seemed like a good idea at the time. After all, there's no money in my wallet, real or plastic, so why haul it around in my pocket? Plus, most of the picnics I attend do not require admission so it was really unnecessary to have it. That is, until the keys were in the van and my wallet with the AAA card was also securely locked in the van; with me on the outside staring longingly at them. Once again, those nasty keys and now, the wallet began mocking me. Teasing. Irritatingly, relentless. Jeering. Flat out bullying. These items were proving how much control they had over my life at the moment and I did not like it Sam I am. I do not like these key for the van. I do not like them Sam I am. I do not like them in my pockets, I do not like these keys for rockets, I do not like them in a can and I do not like them locked in my van!
Mistake #3: Believing AAA when they said they were "experiencing an unusually high call volume and I would be on hold for at least 15 minutes but not more than 20." OK. I can handle that. At least they were polite enough to tell me what the outside parameter was going to be. Guess what? AAA lies.
Mistake #4: Locking the keys inside the van on a holiday weekend. Bad move. For some reason known only to AAA, when I called them from Michigan, they routed my call to Quebec. At first I wondered how this was going to work since the only French I know is "say la vee". Yes, I know it's spelled wrong. I did it that way so everyone can pronounce it. This cute little phrase was something I used quite regularly when I was in high school and well into my 20's; mostly in an attempt to annoy the daylights out of my sisters. To a certain extent it worked with them so I was sort of afraid of how it would go over with the French AAA representative.
Mistake #5: Believing that it wouldn't matter that it was a holiday weekend because my call had been routed to Canada. It's Labor Day weekend. Canada does not celebrate the United States' liberation from labor on the first Monday of September so I thought I would be fine. Guess not. Remember the "less than 20 minute hold time"? Like I said, they lied and I guess Canadians really do celebrate Labor Day because they never answered the phone. Never. And their muzak was terrible too.
What I did Right
Right Decision #1: Deciding to go get the car and drive home to get the spare key. I decided I'd go get the other key but I wasn't excited about driving without my license. After 14 people asked me where I was going (because I am the comic relief and no one could bear to see me leave...just kidding!), one of the men said, "Don't do that, let's see if we can get the van open." OK. We can probably use the baseball bat after the game gets over, except then I'd have to make that dreaded call to the insurance company.
That's all I did right. After that it was all in A1's and A2's hands. In case you were wondering, The A Team has made a comeback only they don't have snow white hair, drive a tricked out Jeep or sport 17 lbs. of gold jewelry. Well, one of them might drive a Jeep. Anyway, they were self professed "hoods", "thugs" and I forget what else. A2 said, "A1 isn't ghetto enough to get that door open." I think it was a challenge, a line in the sand, a throwing down of the gauntlet. I began to think this was going to be a cutthroat competition similar to the baseball game that had been going on at least since Noah's flood. Maybe it was only nine innings though. I lost track while I was waiting for the French Foreign Legion to come and open my door because their music was so b o r i n g. And terrible. Say la vee.
We obtained one plastic coated coat hanger and after pulling the door open as far as it would go (while I secretly hoped the van was really feeling some pain during this maneuver), A & A Locksmiths managed to snake that mangled coat hanger past the weather stripping and right next to the door lock.
The door lock mocked me too. And A1. And A2. But only for a little while.
The A Team was not intimidated by it. I started looking around for something to smash the window with again, just in case. A1 is an engineer and maybe A2 is too, I honestly don't know. I only know they just kept tweaking that hanger with A1's needle nose pliers. Where did those come from? I guess he probably didn't lock his keys in his van and had access to a toolbox. There was a lot of conversation about the correct angle and the type of hook that should be fashioned. There was a lot of patience going on too, but at one point I think the keys started mocking them as well.
Eventually, the right angle was achieved on the coat hanger and the correct hook was formed. A1 pulled the door open as far as it would go and A2 snaked the hanger through the door and yanked up on the lock, making it look just as easy as smashing the window with the baseball bat would have been; except for the part about contending with the insurance company.
I heard the Hallelujah chorus, thought the angels were singing and then realized it was coming from AAA's muzak. I hate how marketers and muzak composers keep moving Christmas up further and further each year. One of these days, Christmas is going to be from December 25 until December 24.
Someone tossed me the keys and then asked if I wanted to lock the doors. No. Not really. I mean I know I have the keys in my hands now, but I don't trust them. You can never trust a key. There are too many of them and a lot of them look alike. They are bullys. So, no, I guess let's just leave the doors unlocked for now.
Next year when AAA sends me a bill to renew our membership, I'm going to decline. I'll just call the A Team aka A & A Locksmiths instead. Either that or I'll invest in a baseball bat which will be securely locked in the van with the keys and my wallet and while I wait for someone to get the van open, I'll just enjoy one of Dad's donuts with extra glaze.
Thanks for getting my keys out of the van A & A Locksmiths!
I hate keys. One must carry so many of them. My Dad is the King of Keys. He even has a crown and a scepter to prove it. Although it's not really a scepter, it's more like a 25 lb. keyring with hundreds of keys, all mocking, teasing, just like the keys on the floor of my van. "Hey Bob, I'm the one that will unlock the house in TN, or am I? And while we're at this little game Bob, remember that you are too far away to turn back now if I'm not the right key." (insert maniacal laugh track here) "Hey Bob, do you think I'm the key that will unlock the file cabinet that everyone else lost the keys to?" On and on it goes with each additional lock adding to the cacophony of the keyring. Also, Dad's crown isn't really a crown either. It's a paper hat he got for being customer of the month at the Krispy Kreme in Pigeon Forge. They made him honorary donut maker or something like that. He's good at it too. If you order the original glazed donuts, you won't need to worry about getting shorted on your glaze. Your donuts will be swimming in the deep end of the glaze pool. Here's proof:
Mistake #1: I relaxed the rule. The rule is if you do not have a driver's license then you may not have the keys to any motor vehicle. Sometimes rule #1B states "on occasion, even if you DO have a driver's license you may not have the keys if I have had to help you look for them at any time in the past 30 days. Professional Drivers may be exempted from rule 1B at the discretion of this writer." Regardless, we happened to be at the church picnic and one of the kids NEEDED something out of the van. "OK, but you better bring me back these keys immediately." The immediate return of the keys ended up being an immediate notification that the keys were securely locked inside the van. I awarded partial credit for this.
Mistake #2: Paying for AAA. For $175 we have three yearly memberships to AAA. We have never called them in the 18 months that we have had it. On the day of the key incident, I thought, "So, the keys are locked in the van. No big deal, I'll just call AAA. That's why we bought it right?" Apparently, AAA is sort of like car insurance: When something happens and you need to use it, you are terrified to make the call.
Mistake #3: Locking my wallet in the van with the keys. It seemed like a good idea at the time. After all, there's no money in my wallet, real or plastic, so why haul it around in my pocket? Plus, most of the picnics I attend do not require admission so it was really unnecessary to have it. That is, until the keys were in the van and my wallet with the AAA card was also securely locked in the van; with me on the outside staring longingly at them. Once again, those nasty keys and now, the wallet began mocking me. Teasing. Irritatingly, relentless. Jeering. Flat out bullying. These items were proving how much control they had over my life at the moment and I did not like it Sam I am. I do not like these key for the van. I do not like them Sam I am. I do not like them in my pockets, I do not like these keys for rockets, I do not like them in a can and I do not like them locked in my van!
Mistake #3: Believing AAA when they said they were "experiencing an unusually high call volume and I would be on hold for at least 15 minutes but not more than 20." OK. I can handle that. At least they were polite enough to tell me what the outside parameter was going to be. Guess what? AAA lies.
Mistake #4: Locking the keys inside the van on a holiday weekend. Bad move. For some reason known only to AAA, when I called them from Michigan, they routed my call to Quebec. At first I wondered how this was going to work since the only French I know is "say la vee". Yes, I know it's spelled wrong. I did it that way so everyone can pronounce it. This cute little phrase was something I used quite regularly when I was in high school and well into my 20's; mostly in an attempt to annoy the daylights out of my sisters. To a certain extent it worked with them so I was sort of afraid of how it would go over with the French AAA representative.
Mistake #5: Believing that it wouldn't matter that it was a holiday weekend because my call had been routed to Canada. It's Labor Day weekend. Canada does not celebrate the United States' liberation from labor on the first Monday of September so I thought I would be fine. Guess not. Remember the "less than 20 minute hold time"? Like I said, they lied and I guess Canadians really do celebrate Labor Day because they never answered the phone. Never. And their muzak was terrible too.
What I did Right
Right Decision #1: Deciding to go get the car and drive home to get the spare key. I decided I'd go get the other key but I wasn't excited about driving without my license. After 14 people asked me where I was going (because I am the comic relief and no one could bear to see me leave...just kidding!), one of the men said, "Don't do that, let's see if we can get the van open." OK. We can probably use the baseball bat after the game gets over, except then I'd have to make that dreaded call to the insurance company.
That's all I did right. After that it was all in A1's and A2's hands. In case you were wondering, The A Team has made a comeback only they don't have snow white hair, drive a tricked out Jeep or sport 17 lbs. of gold jewelry. Well, one of them might drive a Jeep. Anyway, they were self professed "hoods", "thugs" and I forget what else. A2 said, "A1 isn't ghetto enough to get that door open." I think it was a challenge, a line in the sand, a throwing down of the gauntlet. I began to think this was going to be a cutthroat competition similar to the baseball game that had been going on at least since Noah's flood. Maybe it was only nine innings though. I lost track while I was waiting for the French Foreign Legion to come and open my door because their music was so b o r i n g. And terrible. Say la vee.
We obtained one plastic coated coat hanger and after pulling the door open as far as it would go (while I secretly hoped the van was really feeling some pain during this maneuver), A & A Locksmiths managed to snake that mangled coat hanger past the weather stripping and right next to the door lock.
The door lock mocked me too. And A1. And A2. But only for a little while.
The A Team was not intimidated by it. I started looking around for something to smash the window with again, just in case. A1 is an engineer and maybe A2 is too, I honestly don't know. I only know they just kept tweaking that hanger with A1's needle nose pliers. Where did those come from? I guess he probably didn't lock his keys in his van and had access to a toolbox. There was a lot of conversation about the correct angle and the type of hook that should be fashioned. There was a lot of patience going on too, but at one point I think the keys started mocking them as well.
Eventually, the right angle was achieved on the coat hanger and the correct hook was formed. A1 pulled the door open as far as it would go and A2 snaked the hanger through the door and yanked up on the lock, making it look just as easy as smashing the window with the baseball bat would have been; except for the part about contending with the insurance company.
I heard the Hallelujah chorus, thought the angels were singing and then realized it was coming from AAA's muzak. I hate how marketers and muzak composers keep moving Christmas up further and further each year. One of these days, Christmas is going to be from December 25 until December 24.
Someone tossed me the keys and then asked if I wanted to lock the doors. No. Not really. I mean I know I have the keys in my hands now, but I don't trust them. You can never trust a key. There are too many of them and a lot of them look alike. They are bullys. So, no, I guess let's just leave the doors unlocked for now.
Next year when AAA sends me a bill to renew our membership, I'm going to decline. I'll just call the A Team aka A & A Locksmiths instead. Either that or I'll invest in a baseball bat which will be securely locked in the van with the keys and my wallet and while I wait for someone to get the van open, I'll just enjoy one of Dad's donuts with extra glaze.
Thanks for getting my keys out of the van A & A Locksmiths!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Last year, I was asked to do a stand up routine at the ladies retreat that our church does every year. Since I usually write better under pressure, I started gathering material for it but didn't do much to put it together until the 11th hour.
This year I was asked in January to do a serious presentation. Really? I was scared. I haven't given a serious presentation about anything since I was in college many eons ago. However, I tackled the task right away and started gathering material and verses I thought might be relevant. I even used an outline for the first time in my life. In the past, I always wrote my papers and then the outline since that was also part of the grade!
The night before the retreat I wanted to chuck the whole thing. I did not think it was on topic with the rest of the weekend's focus and I was afraid it was going to bomb. The worst thing I could imagine was to somehow embarrass God with my rambling or misinterpretation of His word. However, instead, of throwing several months worth of work out the window, I just prayed for the umpteenth time that this was truly what God wanted me to say. I got a very real sense of peace about the whole thing and after I did a spell check, I printed it. I did not proofread what was written which was a huge step for a "trying to reform perfectionist" like me. I do not like to speak publicly so I kept telling myself these are my friends, they won't throw things at me or laugh at me. It will be ok. Breathe....None of that pep talking helped a whole lot though.
When I arrived, I was told that I may not have to do the presentation after all. Whew! That must be why I never proofed what I had written. What I had been working on for several months was obviously something God needed me to know. Yippee!!! I was off the hook! However, the next day with about two minutes notice, I was asked to give the presentation. WHAT! Ok. If anyone had taken a blood sample from me seconds after that, it would have been straight adrenaline! I don't think I ever did calm down but this is what I presented at the Ladies Retreat in May. I prayed so much over this, I hope someone got something worthwhile out of it and if not, I know I sure did and I really enjoyed putting it together.
The poem at the end, "How to Pray" is an acrostic but this blog keep messing up my spacing. If you look for the capitalized letters you will see that it spells out the word "prayer".
Faith is the Victory
Last year, I ended my standup routine with Ecclesiastes 3:4 “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance”. I said that I hoped you laughed a little and that I bet you hoped no one was going to ask me to dance this year. Well, guess what? How about we all stand and do the Chicken Dance? Just kidding...
Many times the work that God does in my life seems ironic. When I hear the phrase “God works in mysterious ways”, I usually think he’s working in some way that will someday make me smile and laugh with the realization that He was there all along, even when it seemed like He wasn’t. I have these thoughts, even though I know that the last part of Hebrews 13:5 tells me that God will never leave me or forsake me.
It is ironic that I should stand here today talking about gaining victory over life’s problems. I can’t even gain victory over the pile of laundry lying in the bathroom that’s four feet deep, six feet wide and seems to breed when I am sleeping. I don’t seem to be able to gain victory over the messy house, the pile of work I have to do for my job and I surely don’t have victory over not doing the things I don’t want to do and replacing those with the things I do want to do.
We are all so busy! And this busyness can sometimes lead to many things that are detrimental to us such as: stress, guilt, worry and in the extreme it can lead to a separation from God. As women, we have to figure out how to balance the needs of our families. Many times this includes caring for infants all the way up to aging parents. We have the needs of our spouses that we desire to attend to, as well as those of our friends, neighbors, the teams that we coach, the committees that we are part of and the body of Christ. We may also have professional responsibilities that have to be taken care of as well.
During the course of the day I am:
a spouse
the mother of four
the step-mother of four
a daughter
a sister
a niece
a neighbor
an employee
an employer
an aunt
a friend
a cousin
a sister in Christ
a child of God
a chauffeur
a doctor
a counselor
a nurse
a teacher
a cook
a maid
an accountant
The list and our responsibilities are never ending. But there’s nothing special about me because every one of us here today has a list of numerous responsibilities that we must fulfill each day.
Who are you?
What roles do you take on each day?
And how do they affect your life?
Each one of our roles, demands time, attention, commitment, love and a desire to make another person’s life just a little bit better. As women, we are fulfilled when we are fulfilling the needs of someone else. But sometimes we get too busy, our lives get too far out of balance and that’s when things can get messy in a hurry. We experience worry, guilt, stress and a myriad of other problems that side track us from what we want to do. In Psalm 34:19 we learn that:
Psa 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.
Yet, knowing this how many times are we shocked that our lives are out of balance once again? How many times are we shocked that we are afflicted with worry, stress or maybe even guilt?
Perhaps:
the car broke down,
the checkbook is overdrawn,
the doctor was running behind,
our kids are out of control,
we have health problems
we feel guilty because we might wonder where God is in all of the mess
we feel alone, inadequate, maybe even afraid
So, we call other sisters to share what is happening. We pray and wonder if our prayers are being heard. Maybe we second guess ourselves and wonder what would have, could have and perhaps should have been, if only we had done something just a little bit different. Sometimes we even wonder where God is because it doesn’t seem like He’s listening. When the valley is long, dark and filled with pain it is hard to hear His voice. When there doesn’t seem to be any answers to our prayers, we wonder if God is listening.
But then one day we realize that things seem a little better and the next day seems a little better than the day before. Eventually, we realize that we have made it through the latest crisis and we are heading out of the valley. When we start to ascend the mountain, it is from the vantage point of it’s summit, that we realize the truth of the second half of Psalm 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivers him out of them all. God doesn’t promise to deliver us from one or two of the things that drag us down, He promises to deliver us from them ALL. We shouldn’t be surprised or even caught off guard when problems come our way, nor should we be surprised when the Lord delivers us safely to the other side.
In fact, we read in James 1:2-3 that “my Brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.” The word “divers” is derived from the word diverse, which means “unlike”. Basically, we should be joyful when we are tempted in multiple ways by multiple things, because that temptation tries and tests our faith and the testing of our faith brings patience.
Guilt
I sometimes feel guilty because I can’t cross off everything I have on my “to do” list.
When the kids want to play a game and I have to meet a deadline for work, I sometimes feel guilty. When Mike gets off the road after driving for four days straight and I am running out the door to take one of the kids to some activity, I feel guilty.
When I sit and read instead of trying to tackle that pile of laundry I told you about, I feel guilty.
When I drop into bed after 20 hours of working, raising kids, caring for our home and I realize that I fell asleep while praying, I feel guilty.
I ask myself if I am putting my business before my family?
Am I neglecting my spouse?
Am I neglecting the kids?
Am I neglecting my Savior?
Are my priorities out of order?
If they are out of order what needs to change?
Everything on that list is important for one reason or another so how do I find the balance?
Guilt is defined as: feelings of culpability (or blameworthy) especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy: self reproach.
Hmmm, did you get that? Guilt is us blaming ourselves for imagined offenses. Of course sometimes our guilt is legitimate and can be a good thing if it prompts us to examine an area of our life that may need to be addressed. Perhaps there is an area where there may be sin that we need to seek forgiveness for. Or maybe we are emphasizing something that shouldn’t be quite so high on our list of priorities. But there have been many times in my life that I have felt guilty for something that in hindsight really wasn’t such a big deal. In my thoughts I had blown the situation out of proportion; imagined offenses if you will.
The point is guilt that is not legitimate needs to be released.
Worry
As women, we tend to worry. A lot.
Did the kids take their phone when they left for the game?
Did they arrive at their destination safely?
Are they texting and driving?
Does the baby have another ear infection?
Did anyone make sure the toilet wasn’t still running when we left? The answer to that was “No". So, it ran for the entire time we were gone on the boat trip two years ago and leaked water all over the bathroom floor including soaking the bedroom carpet. Did I mention that this was the upstairs bathroom?
Are we going to be have enough money to retire?
Is our insurance adequate?
How are we going to pay for college?
Is Mom/Dad ok or is this early dementia?
What is going on with our country?
This list is also endless. But the Bible says in Matthew 6:25-34
Mat 6:25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Mat 6:26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them Are ye not much better than they?
Mat 6:27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
Mat 6:28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
Mat 6:29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Mat 6:30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
Mat 6:31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
Mat 6:32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Mat 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
We read in Lamentations 3:22 It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
And we read in Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Stress
Stress is defined as: a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in causing disease
d: a state resulting from a stress; especially: one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium i.e. job-related stress. Also strain and pressure.
Too much worry or guilt can cause stress. Too much stress can cause physical ailments such as high blood pressure which can lead to stroke and/or heart attack. Yet, we all find ourselves under stress from carrying the load of all the busyness in our lives.
We are told in Mathew 11: 28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Jesus tells us to take His yoke upon us, not ours. He promises that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. That sounds wonderful. A light and easy burden compared to the weight of responsibility that we try to juggle each day.
So how do we keep going when we are weighed down by the details of our lives?
How to Keep Going
1. Change the way you think
How do we keep going when it seems like everything is against us? I think it starts with a change of mind. Miss Janie would tell us to stop our stinkin’ thinkin’. Watty Piper, the author who penned the children’s book “The Little Engine That Could”, tells the tale of a train that has broken down and the poor little boys and girls on the other side of the mountain are in danger of not receiving their toys, fruit and milk if another engine does not help. Two large, shiny engines, fully capable of helping the distressed engine refuse to help because they are too important, too beautiful. A small engine eventually comes to the rescue of the helpless train and while repeating “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can”, the engine is successful in delivering the train to the other side of the mountain. As Christians, we have a promise from God that with His help “I know I can” is often the start of real change and an effort to persevere even though the way is lonely, dangerous, scary or difficult.
Proverbs 1:3 tells us to “Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.”
So if we commit what we are doing to the Lord, He will help us change our thoughts. He will rid us of our worry, our misplaced guilt and our stress.
2. Believe
Our actions always follow our beliefs.
3. Persevere
You have to keep on going. There is no giving up. The Marine Corps mantra is: failure is not an option. Paul tell us in Phi 3:13 & 14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
I believe another version of the Bible uses the word “straining” in place of “reaching forth”. The word strain is derived from Old English or Old High German and it means to “gain” or “acquire”. As Christians we should be straining, reaching, gaining, and acquiring a vibrant, close, real relationship with Jesus with the ultimate goal of eternal life. The word “reach” and the word “strain” imply that there is work to do here. It takes hard work to forget about the failures we have experienced in the past and sometimes it takes hard work to accept forgiveness for those failures. We make forward progress and then something happens to trigger a memory and we are once again dwelling on a past we are powerless to change. But we are told that we must forget the things that are behind us so that we can reach towards the things that are ahead of us.
Colossians 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Col 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
Col 3:3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
Col 3:4 When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.
4. Hope
“My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand.”
Job 11:18 And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety.
Psa 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
Psa 31:24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.
Psa 42:11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
Psa 119:114 Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word.
Jer 17:7 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
Lam 3:24 The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
Act 2:26 Therefore did my heart rejoice, and my tongue was glad; moreover also my flesh shall rest in hope.
Rom 5:2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
Rom 12:12 Rejoicing in hope patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
Heb 6:11 And we desire that every one of you do show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope unto the end:
Hope is to cherish a desire with anticipation. We hope it won’t rain on our plans for a picnic. We hope our kids will see Christ in us.
It is also to desire, with the expectation of obtaining something. People hope to finish college or we hope to get a tax refund this year. In each of these examples, someone is gaining something that they are hoping for.
The third definition of hope is to expect with confidence or to trust. We trust and believe that God will do what He says He is going to do.
He says that He will remove our sins as far as the east is from the west.
He promises to never leave us or forsake us.
He promises to restore the years that the worm has eaten.
He promises His burden is easy.
He promises rest for the weary.
He promises His forgiveness.
He promises His peace.
He promises His love.
He promises His grace.
He promises His mercy.
He promises eternal life.
Our hope lies within the power of the resurrected Christ, our Savior.
5. Prayer
Another thing we can to do in order to persevere when circumstances have beaten us down is prayer.
Phil 4: 6 &7 says Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Phi 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
To supplicate means to make a humble entreaty.
Ecc 4:9-11 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. Ecc 4:10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
Ecc 4:11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?
And Matthew 18:19-20 says
Mat 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
Mat 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
Worry, guilt and even stress can sometimes cause us to have the tendency to pull away from other people. When we are hurting or overwhelmed with life's circumstances, the tendency to isolate ourselves can be quite strong. These two passages caution against that behavior. During periods of time when we experience great stress, we should be seeking out other people to pray with us; to gather in Jesus’ name together, anticipating that God will answer our prayers. If circumstances are bad enough, sometimes it seems impossible to pray and when that happens, it is good to know that there are others one can approach to request prayers on your behalf.
Hebrews 4:16 tell us “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”
We are to boldly approach the throne of grace. Listen to how Webster defines the word bold: showing or requiring a fearless and daring spirit. Some synonyms for bold: are assured, confident, free. What if we approached the Lord with a fearless and daring spirit, assured, free and confident every time we prayed? What would happen in our lives? Perhaps the prodigal child would return home. Maybe that long held dream would be fulfilled. Maybe a marriage would be restored. Maybe the lost soul that your heart longs to see saved would come to find the Lord. I dare you to approach the Lord’s throne of grace, boldly anticipating his help in your time of need. Cast your worry, your guilt, your stress on Him and He will give you the desires of your heart.
The Red Bike
In the summer of 2002, I was living with my Mom and my four children. I was recently divorced and the kids had not seen their father for ten months or so. Due to the serious medical complications of two of the kids, I was unable to work and money was extremely tight, to say the least.
One day I was putting my little boy to bed when he said, "Mama, I would like a new bike for Christmas because the bike I have right now is too small for me to ride it very well."
Groaning inwardly, because I knew there was no way a bike was in this child's future, I said, "Well, maybe that's something you should pray about." I decided I'd worry later about teaching him that sometimes God doesn't answer our prayers the way we want him to. For now, he could just pray for the bike that I could not provide for him.
Almost daily, for several months he would pray for that bike. As Christmas drew closer, my anxiety increased because I knew he was going to be disappointed on Christmas morning and there wasn't anything I could do about it.
A letter came in the mail stating that an area business had somehow gotten our name and wondered if they could sponsor the kids for Christmas. I agreed and they proceeded to take the kids names and ages. They told me they would get back with me closer to Christmas so they could set up a time to drop off the gifts.
Since it was closer to Christmas, my son didn't skip a day asking for that bike. Sometimes I would sit downstairs and cry after everyone had gone to bed. I did not want to face his disappointment and I did not want to have to teach him the "we don't always get what we want when we want it even though we pray for it" lesson at the tender age of five.
One day, the phone rang and it was the man I had spoken with from the business who was sponsoring the kids. We set up a time for them to stop by the house and I chose to have them come in the middle of the afternoon while the kids would be taking a nap. We had an area in the garage all staked out to put the stuff so the kids wouldn't see it. The appointed time came and went and while it was getting later and later, I wondered what had happened. Finally, the phone rang and the businessman apologized for being so late. He said he had received an additional $150 that morning and had needed to stop by WalMart so he could add that to the gift card they were going to give us.
Additional $150? I considered that to be a lot of money for a group to put together for a Christmas sponsorship. I asked if he just wanted to mail it to the house instead of coming by and personally delivering it and he said, "No, that's not the only thing we have."
We set up another day and time and this time he was there early. I will never forget these two men. Although I did not know who they were and would not recognize them if I saw them again, these two reminded me just exactly who is in control of our lives.
They unloaded boxes, bags, groceries and one of them handed me the gift card with over $200 on it. I thanked them, though words were inadequate and could not express what was truly in my heart. They said, "Oh, we're not done yet. We haven't brought in the best part yet."
The best part? Good grief, they had unloaded an entire trunk and backseat full of stuff. How could there be anything else?
I was putting some of the groceries in the house while they went out to their car. When I walked back out to the garage there they were; one man holding a brand new red bike and one man holding a brand new pink bike.
Stunned, I said, "Two? Bikes? My son has been praying for a bike for months now."
One of them said, "Well, it looks like it worked. Merry Christmas!" and then they left.
I stood in the garage crying over two little bikes; one red, one pink. I guessed I wouldn't have to be teaching my son about the "not always getting what we want when we want it even though we pray for it" lesson just yet. I hid the bikes anticipating Christmas morning even more than the kids.
On Christmas morning after we had read the Christmas story and the kids had opened their gifts, we went out to the garage where I had removed the bikes from their hiding places. My son's eyes were as big as they could get. "He didn't forget! He didn't forget! I knew if I prayed for it God would find me a bike! I love it! Thank you!"
That was seven years ago. Neither of the bikes are very shiny anymore and they are both too small for anyone in this house. However, I cannot bear to give them away because they represent so much to me. I rather flippantly told my son to pray for something I knew I would not be able to provide for him and he took that idea and consistently and faithfully prayed about it. It wasn't him who needed faith to believe that God would provide, it was me.
I have often said that God needed me to have those bikes even more than my son did. What I learned that Christmas was even when it looks like there is no hope, God is in control and is directing the situation. He sees and knows what our needs are and He provides for them. I also learned that sometimes God provides above our wildest dreams, to give us something even better than what we asked for. Sometimes He gives us two bikes instead of only the one we asked for and sometimes He gives us a promotion instead of just a small raise. Mostly what I learned is that He loves us, He is faithful and He hears and answers our prayers.
Today those two bikes stand in the corner of our garage. There have been many times when I have gone out to look at them or I am reminded of them when I didn't think He was listening to my prayers and in fact, even wondered if He cared about my prayers. They are the tangible evidence of a faithful and loving Father taking care of the fatherless and the simple faith of a little boy.
I dare you to pray without ceasing and see what desires of your own heart God bestows upon you.
How to Pray
Pray without ceasing, press on towards the goal
in Reverence to God, He cares for your soul
believe He will Answer the desires of your heart
Yearn to be closer, never to part
Expect Him to answer your prayers in His time
and Rest in Him always, He grants peace, sublime.
T. Deffely
02/01/2010
This year I was asked in January to do a serious presentation. Really? I was scared. I haven't given a serious presentation about anything since I was in college many eons ago. However, I tackled the task right away and started gathering material and verses I thought might be relevant. I even used an outline for the first time in my life. In the past, I always wrote my papers and then the outline since that was also part of the grade!
The night before the retreat I wanted to chuck the whole thing. I did not think it was on topic with the rest of the weekend's focus and I was afraid it was going to bomb. The worst thing I could imagine was to somehow embarrass God with my rambling or misinterpretation of His word. However, instead, of throwing several months worth of work out the window, I just prayed for the umpteenth time that this was truly what God wanted me to say. I got a very real sense of peace about the whole thing and after I did a spell check, I printed it. I did not proofread what was written which was a huge step for a "trying to reform perfectionist" like me. I do not like to speak publicly so I kept telling myself these are my friends, they won't throw things at me or laugh at me. It will be ok. Breathe....None of that pep talking helped a whole lot though.
When I arrived, I was told that I may not have to do the presentation after all. Whew! That must be why I never proofed what I had written. What I had been working on for several months was obviously something God needed me to know. Yippee!!! I was off the hook! However, the next day with about two minutes notice, I was asked to give the presentation. WHAT! Ok. If anyone had taken a blood sample from me seconds after that, it would have been straight adrenaline! I don't think I ever did calm down but this is what I presented at the Ladies Retreat in May. I prayed so much over this, I hope someone got something worthwhile out of it and if not, I know I sure did and I really enjoyed putting it together.
The poem at the end, "How to Pray" is an acrostic but this blog keep messing up my spacing. If you look for the capitalized letters you will see that it spells out the word "prayer".
Faith is the Victory
Last year, I ended my standup routine with Ecclesiastes 3:4 “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance”. I said that I hoped you laughed a little and that I bet you hoped no one was going to ask me to dance this year. Well, guess what? How about we all stand and do the Chicken Dance? Just kidding...
Many times the work that God does in my life seems ironic. When I hear the phrase “God works in mysterious ways”, I usually think he’s working in some way that will someday make me smile and laugh with the realization that He was there all along, even when it seemed like He wasn’t. I have these thoughts, even though I know that the last part of Hebrews 13:5 tells me that God will never leave me or forsake me.
It is ironic that I should stand here today talking about gaining victory over life’s problems. I can’t even gain victory over the pile of laundry lying in the bathroom that’s four feet deep, six feet wide and seems to breed when I am sleeping. I don’t seem to be able to gain victory over the messy house, the pile of work I have to do for my job and I surely don’t have victory over not doing the things I don’t want to do and replacing those with the things I do want to do.
We are all so busy! And this busyness can sometimes lead to many things that are detrimental to us such as: stress, guilt, worry and in the extreme it can lead to a separation from God. As women, we have to figure out how to balance the needs of our families. Many times this includes caring for infants all the way up to aging parents. We have the needs of our spouses that we desire to attend to, as well as those of our friends, neighbors, the teams that we coach, the committees that we are part of and the body of Christ. We may also have professional responsibilities that have to be taken care of as well.
During the course of the day I am:
a spouse
the mother of four
the step-mother of four
a daughter
a sister
a niece
a neighbor
an employee
an employer
an aunt
a friend
a cousin
a sister in Christ
a child of God
a chauffeur
a doctor
a counselor
a nurse
a teacher
a cook
a maid
an accountant
The list and our responsibilities are never ending. But there’s nothing special about me because every one of us here today has a list of numerous responsibilities that we must fulfill each day.
Who are you?
What roles do you take on each day?
And how do they affect your life?
Each one of our roles, demands time, attention, commitment, love and a desire to make another person’s life just a little bit better. As women, we are fulfilled when we are fulfilling the needs of someone else. But sometimes we get too busy, our lives get too far out of balance and that’s when things can get messy in a hurry. We experience worry, guilt, stress and a myriad of other problems that side track us from what we want to do. In Psalm 34:19 we learn that:
Psa 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.
Yet, knowing this how many times are we shocked that our lives are out of balance once again? How many times are we shocked that we are afflicted with worry, stress or maybe even guilt?
Perhaps:
the car broke down,
the checkbook is overdrawn,
the doctor was running behind,
our kids are out of control,
we have health problems
we feel guilty because we might wonder where God is in all of the mess
we feel alone, inadequate, maybe even afraid
So, we call other sisters to share what is happening. We pray and wonder if our prayers are being heard. Maybe we second guess ourselves and wonder what would have, could have and perhaps should have been, if only we had done something just a little bit different. Sometimes we even wonder where God is because it doesn’t seem like He’s listening. When the valley is long, dark and filled with pain it is hard to hear His voice. When there doesn’t seem to be any answers to our prayers, we wonder if God is listening.
But then one day we realize that things seem a little better and the next day seems a little better than the day before. Eventually, we realize that we have made it through the latest crisis and we are heading out of the valley. When we start to ascend the mountain, it is from the vantage point of it’s summit, that we realize the truth of the second half of Psalm 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivers him out of them all. God doesn’t promise to deliver us from one or two of the things that drag us down, He promises to deliver us from them ALL. We shouldn’t be surprised or even caught off guard when problems come our way, nor should we be surprised when the Lord delivers us safely to the other side.
In fact, we read in James 1:2-3 that “my Brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.” The word “divers” is derived from the word diverse, which means “unlike”. Basically, we should be joyful when we are tempted in multiple ways by multiple things, because that temptation tries and tests our faith and the testing of our faith brings patience.
Guilt
I sometimes feel guilty because I can’t cross off everything I have on my “to do” list.
When the kids want to play a game and I have to meet a deadline for work, I sometimes feel guilty. When Mike gets off the road after driving for four days straight and I am running out the door to take one of the kids to some activity, I feel guilty.
When I sit and read instead of trying to tackle that pile of laundry I told you about, I feel guilty.
When I drop into bed after 20 hours of working, raising kids, caring for our home and I realize that I fell asleep while praying, I feel guilty.
I ask myself if I am putting my business before my family?
Am I neglecting my spouse?
Am I neglecting the kids?
Am I neglecting my Savior?
Are my priorities out of order?
If they are out of order what needs to change?
Everything on that list is important for one reason or another so how do I find the balance?
Guilt is defined as: feelings of culpability (or blameworthy) especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy: self reproach.
Hmmm, did you get that? Guilt is us blaming ourselves for imagined offenses. Of course sometimes our guilt is legitimate and can be a good thing if it prompts us to examine an area of our life that may need to be addressed. Perhaps there is an area where there may be sin that we need to seek forgiveness for. Or maybe we are emphasizing something that shouldn’t be quite so high on our list of priorities. But there have been many times in my life that I have felt guilty for something that in hindsight really wasn’t such a big deal. In my thoughts I had blown the situation out of proportion; imagined offenses if you will.
The point is guilt that is not legitimate needs to be released.
Worry
As women, we tend to worry. A lot.
Did the kids take their phone when they left for the game?
Did they arrive at their destination safely?
Are they texting and driving?
Does the baby have another ear infection?
Did anyone make sure the toilet wasn’t still running when we left? The answer to that was “No". So, it ran for the entire time we were gone on the boat trip two years ago and leaked water all over the bathroom floor including soaking the bedroom carpet. Did I mention that this was the upstairs bathroom?
Are we going to be have enough money to retire?
Is our insurance adequate?
How are we going to pay for college?
Is Mom/Dad ok or is this early dementia?
What is going on with our country?
This list is also endless. But the Bible says in Matthew 6:25-34
Mat 6:25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Mat 6:26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them Are ye not much better than they?
Mat 6:27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
Mat 6:28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
Mat 6:29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Mat 6:30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
Mat 6:31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
Mat 6:32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Mat 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
We read in Lamentations 3:22 It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
And we read in Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Stress
Stress is defined as: a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in causing disease
d: a state resulting from a stress; especially: one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium i.e. job-related stress. Also strain and pressure.
Too much worry or guilt can cause stress. Too much stress can cause physical ailments such as high blood pressure which can lead to stroke and/or heart attack. Yet, we all find ourselves under stress from carrying the load of all the busyness in our lives.
We are told in Mathew 11: 28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Jesus tells us to take His yoke upon us, not ours. He promises that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. That sounds wonderful. A light and easy burden compared to the weight of responsibility that we try to juggle each day.
So how do we keep going when we are weighed down by the details of our lives?
How to Keep Going
1. Change the way you think
How do we keep going when it seems like everything is against us? I think it starts with a change of mind. Miss Janie would tell us to stop our stinkin’ thinkin’. Watty Piper, the author who penned the children’s book “The Little Engine That Could”, tells the tale of a train that has broken down and the poor little boys and girls on the other side of the mountain are in danger of not receiving their toys, fruit and milk if another engine does not help. Two large, shiny engines, fully capable of helping the distressed engine refuse to help because they are too important, too beautiful. A small engine eventually comes to the rescue of the helpless train and while repeating “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can”, the engine is successful in delivering the train to the other side of the mountain. As Christians, we have a promise from God that with His help “I know I can” is often the start of real change and an effort to persevere even though the way is lonely, dangerous, scary or difficult.
Proverbs 1:3 tells us to “Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.”
So if we commit what we are doing to the Lord, He will help us change our thoughts. He will rid us of our worry, our misplaced guilt and our stress.
2. Believe
Our actions always follow our beliefs.
3. Persevere
You have to keep on going. There is no giving up. The Marine Corps mantra is: failure is not an option. Paul tell us in Phi 3:13 & 14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
I believe another version of the Bible uses the word “straining” in place of “reaching forth”. The word strain is derived from Old English or Old High German and it means to “gain” or “acquire”. As Christians we should be straining, reaching, gaining, and acquiring a vibrant, close, real relationship with Jesus with the ultimate goal of eternal life. The word “reach” and the word “strain” imply that there is work to do here. It takes hard work to forget about the failures we have experienced in the past and sometimes it takes hard work to accept forgiveness for those failures. We make forward progress and then something happens to trigger a memory and we are once again dwelling on a past we are powerless to change. But we are told that we must forget the things that are behind us so that we can reach towards the things that are ahead of us.
Colossians 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Col 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
Col 3:3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
Col 3:4 When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.
4. Hope
“My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand.”
Job 11:18 And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety.
Psa 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
Psa 31:24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.
Psa 42:11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
Psa 119:114 Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word.
Jer 17:7 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
Lam 3:24 The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
Act 2:26 Therefore did my heart rejoice, and my tongue was glad; moreover also my flesh shall rest in hope.
Rom 5:2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
Rom 12:12 Rejoicing in hope patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
Heb 6:11 And we desire that every one of you do show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope unto the end:
Hope is to cherish a desire with anticipation. We hope it won’t rain on our plans for a picnic. We hope our kids will see Christ in us.
It is also to desire, with the expectation of obtaining something. People hope to finish college or we hope to get a tax refund this year. In each of these examples, someone is gaining something that they are hoping for.
The third definition of hope is to expect with confidence or to trust. We trust and believe that God will do what He says He is going to do.
He says that He will remove our sins as far as the east is from the west.
He promises to never leave us or forsake us.
He promises to restore the years that the worm has eaten.
He promises His burden is easy.
He promises rest for the weary.
He promises His forgiveness.
He promises His peace.
He promises His love.
He promises His grace.
He promises His mercy.
He promises eternal life.
Our hope lies within the power of the resurrected Christ, our Savior.
5. Prayer
Another thing we can to do in order to persevere when circumstances have beaten us down is prayer.
Phil 4: 6 &7 says Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Phi 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
To supplicate means to make a humble entreaty.
Ecc 4:9-11 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. Ecc 4:10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
Ecc 4:11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?
And Matthew 18:19-20 says
Mat 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
Mat 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
Worry, guilt and even stress can sometimes cause us to have the tendency to pull away from other people. When we are hurting or overwhelmed with life's circumstances, the tendency to isolate ourselves can be quite strong. These two passages caution against that behavior. During periods of time when we experience great stress, we should be seeking out other people to pray with us; to gather in Jesus’ name together, anticipating that God will answer our prayers. If circumstances are bad enough, sometimes it seems impossible to pray and when that happens, it is good to know that there are others one can approach to request prayers on your behalf.
Hebrews 4:16 tell us “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”
We are to boldly approach the throne of grace. Listen to how Webster defines the word bold: showing or requiring a fearless and daring spirit. Some synonyms for bold: are assured, confident, free. What if we approached the Lord with a fearless and daring spirit, assured, free and confident every time we prayed? What would happen in our lives? Perhaps the prodigal child would return home. Maybe that long held dream would be fulfilled. Maybe a marriage would be restored. Maybe the lost soul that your heart longs to see saved would come to find the Lord. I dare you to approach the Lord’s throne of grace, boldly anticipating his help in your time of need. Cast your worry, your guilt, your stress on Him and He will give you the desires of your heart.
The Red Bike
In the summer of 2002, I was living with my Mom and my four children. I was recently divorced and the kids had not seen their father for ten months or so. Due to the serious medical complications of two of the kids, I was unable to work and money was extremely tight, to say the least.
One day I was putting my little boy to bed when he said, "Mama, I would like a new bike for Christmas because the bike I have right now is too small for me to ride it very well."
Groaning inwardly, because I knew there was no way a bike was in this child's future, I said, "Well, maybe that's something you should pray about." I decided I'd worry later about teaching him that sometimes God doesn't answer our prayers the way we want him to. For now, he could just pray for the bike that I could not provide for him.
Almost daily, for several months he would pray for that bike. As Christmas drew closer, my anxiety increased because I knew he was going to be disappointed on Christmas morning and there wasn't anything I could do about it.
A letter came in the mail stating that an area business had somehow gotten our name and wondered if they could sponsor the kids for Christmas. I agreed and they proceeded to take the kids names and ages. They told me they would get back with me closer to Christmas so they could set up a time to drop off the gifts.
Since it was closer to Christmas, my son didn't skip a day asking for that bike. Sometimes I would sit downstairs and cry after everyone had gone to bed. I did not want to face his disappointment and I did not want to have to teach him the "we don't always get what we want when we want it even though we pray for it" lesson at the tender age of five.
One day, the phone rang and it was the man I had spoken with from the business who was sponsoring the kids. We set up a time for them to stop by the house and I chose to have them come in the middle of the afternoon while the kids would be taking a nap. We had an area in the garage all staked out to put the stuff so the kids wouldn't see it. The appointed time came and went and while it was getting later and later, I wondered what had happened. Finally, the phone rang and the businessman apologized for being so late. He said he had received an additional $150 that morning and had needed to stop by WalMart so he could add that to the gift card they were going to give us.
Additional $150? I considered that to be a lot of money for a group to put together for a Christmas sponsorship. I asked if he just wanted to mail it to the house instead of coming by and personally delivering it and he said, "No, that's not the only thing we have."
We set up another day and time and this time he was there early. I will never forget these two men. Although I did not know who they were and would not recognize them if I saw them again, these two reminded me just exactly who is in control of our lives.
They unloaded boxes, bags, groceries and one of them handed me the gift card with over $200 on it. I thanked them, though words were inadequate and could not express what was truly in my heart. They said, "Oh, we're not done yet. We haven't brought in the best part yet."
The best part? Good grief, they had unloaded an entire trunk and backseat full of stuff. How could there be anything else?
I was putting some of the groceries in the house while they went out to their car. When I walked back out to the garage there they were; one man holding a brand new red bike and one man holding a brand new pink bike.
Stunned, I said, "Two? Bikes? My son has been praying for a bike for months now."
One of them said, "Well, it looks like it worked. Merry Christmas!" and then they left.
I stood in the garage crying over two little bikes; one red, one pink. I guessed I wouldn't have to be teaching my son about the "not always getting what we want when we want it even though we pray for it" lesson just yet. I hid the bikes anticipating Christmas morning even more than the kids.
On Christmas morning after we had read the Christmas story and the kids had opened their gifts, we went out to the garage where I had removed the bikes from their hiding places. My son's eyes were as big as they could get. "He didn't forget! He didn't forget! I knew if I prayed for it God would find me a bike! I love it! Thank you!"
That was seven years ago. Neither of the bikes are very shiny anymore and they are both too small for anyone in this house. However, I cannot bear to give them away because they represent so much to me. I rather flippantly told my son to pray for something I knew I would not be able to provide for him and he took that idea and consistently and faithfully prayed about it. It wasn't him who needed faith to believe that God would provide, it was me.
I have often said that God needed me to have those bikes even more than my son did. What I learned that Christmas was even when it looks like there is no hope, God is in control and is directing the situation. He sees and knows what our needs are and He provides for them. I also learned that sometimes God provides above our wildest dreams, to give us something even better than what we asked for. Sometimes He gives us two bikes instead of only the one we asked for and sometimes He gives us a promotion instead of just a small raise. Mostly what I learned is that He loves us, He is faithful and He hears and answers our prayers.
Today those two bikes stand in the corner of our garage. There have been many times when I have gone out to look at them or I am reminded of them when I didn't think He was listening to my prayers and in fact, even wondered if He cared about my prayers. They are the tangible evidence of a faithful and loving Father taking care of the fatherless and the simple faith of a little boy.
I dare you to pray without ceasing and see what desires of your own heart God bestows upon you.
How to Pray
Pray without ceasing, press on towards the goal
in Reverence to God, He cares for your soul
believe He will Answer the desires of your heart
Yearn to be closer, never to part
Expect Him to answer your prayers in His time
and Rest in Him always, He grants peace, sublime.
T. Deffely
02/01/2010
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