Yawns #179 - #232 occurred between N. Baltimore and Lima. Is this the most boring drive ever? With Lima through Dayton and perhaps southern Georgia and north Florida giving this area a run for it's money? I've heard driving through Nebraska can get pretty bad but I always thought the possibility of smacking into a moose or something like that would make it a little more exciting.
That's when it occurred to me I should probably be watching out for deer. For some reason, deer seem to be attracted to our vehicles when I am driving them. A few years ago while driving into a small town in NW Ohio, about 300 yards or so from a Speedway, a deer came tearing across the highway and straight into the side of my van. Really? What was it doing there in the first place? Ordering a Big Mac? Getting a capuccino? Using it's Speedy Rewards card? No one was hurt, the deer wandered off probably to die and my van was smacked up pretty good.
Two years later, when we were coming home from church, the first deer's cousin plowed into the same side of the van and went skidding down the road. I didn't like that one too much because I felt like it was looking at me while it was dying, sort of accusing me of getting in the way of it skedaddling across the road with the rest of the herd. To my credit, I missed the other seven who managed to make a safe passage in front of and behind our van.
Some people at church called me The Deerslayer for awhile after that one. I thought i was funny, but James Fennimore Cooper would probably have been appalled.
I didn't want to slay any deer with our Dodge Caravan since I was pretty sure it would not fare nearly as well as the full size van did when it was deer hunting out of season. So, I started paying better attention. Thankfully, I did not see any.
I continued to yawn and wonder how in the world I was going to make it all the way to Florida on four hours of sleep.
Break out some more Dr. Pepper and the CD the church recorded last summer, please. I had to stay awake and this was a good way to do it! Those two CDs are awesome!
The sun started coming up and since I don't usually see sunrises, it was pretty neat to see one. I also thought that perhaps once in awhile I should get up in order to witness a sunrise. I thought about how neat it is that God made the earth this way. He could have just said, "Lights out" and made it dark at maybe 10:15pm and then said, "Lights on" and turned the sun back on at maybe 10:15am (if you read "The Trip Commences" you will understand the significance of 10:15). Instead He said, "Hey pay attention here. I'm painting the sky for you." He does that at the change of seasons too so we will slow down and consider what really matters. And in some weird way, a sunrise is sort of like me smacking the snooze button on the alarm clock. Isn't it a slow awakening to the day?
I passed the area where the trailer tire blew out on the way to State Dock last year. Carl handled that one with calm and coolness because blowing a tire in the middle of a construction zone is kind of scary stuff. When he managed to pull over and we were all sitting on the side of the road, I snapped the series of pictures I like to refer to as "How many members of the Church of Christ does it take to change a trailer tire?" According to the pictures, it takes around 15 or so. Every time I look at them, I crack up laughing. The scene looks quite a lot like a road crew with a lot of standing around talking and watching two, or possibly three, people do the actual work. No offense intended here, since we are all members of one body, I'm sure each person was doing the part they were designed to do. From the air conditioned van, it looked funny. Then again, I already stated we had never been out of our small town before.
Of course, that reminded me of the fact that when we attempted to pull into traffic, our van quit running. I was able to start it again, but quickly realized that "Mike, we have a problem." Yep. Big problem. Lost the fuel pump. So, several hours later and $900 poorer, we all got back into our respective vehicles and caravaned the rest of the way to our overnight destination, anticipating commencing the loading of the houseboats and the bon voyage the next day. That trip was awesome with capital letters! We still talk about it a lot almost a year later!
I turned the radio down to a more tolerable level and tried to sneak past the area just in case the Caravan decided to take a cue from the Savanna and mess up the plans just for fun. I didn't need to replace another fuel pump and remember I was already at least eight hours behind schedule.
Reminiscing about the boat trip had me thinking about all of the people in Adrian and how they have each touched our lives in so many ways. We are so blessed to have so many good people in our lives. I am sure we have not reciprocated even in the slightest compared to what we have received from our brothers and sisters in Adrian. I got a little misty eyed thinking about being gone for so long. Seriously. But then, I remembered when Elizabeth moved to Alabama, I wrote her a letter to read on the way and one of the things I said was that I was sure we would be neighbors in Heaven. I said this so she would laugh and perhaps think that Alabama might not be too bad if you think about the alternative of living next to us. Anyway, I'm not sure how it's all going to work out but I want to live on the block where the Adrian brothers/sisters and the other people who have been instrumental and influential in our spiritual lives are all going to be. Our mansion will be the one with the gold that needs to be polished and toys scattered about the yard in case anyone wants to look us up when they get to Heaven. Oh. Our halos will probably be slightly tarnished and askew too. That is, if we can find them. Anyway, this made me laugh while I sailed through Cincy.
Wow! I was almost all the way to Kentucky just by thinking about the boat trip and our relatives in Adrian! At some point, it occurred to me that I passed that giant Jesus statue at Solid Rock Church between Dayton and Cincy. I won't say what our kids call it but I sort of wonder what they were thinking with that thing. I heard recently that it was originally supposed to be an entire statue, not just the torso and head but the ground was too unstable to put the entire thing up so they opted for the "coming out of the water" rendition of it. Kind of weird. But don't ask me because I do not understand modern "art". Just because something is sitting in front of the art museum they call it a sculpture. If it was at the dump, it would be scrap metal. That's all I know. I also know that I probably shouldn't have laughed when I read a blog stating that the locals in the area thought it would be funny if they put the legs on the other side of 75 and that other people drive by it and say, "Touchdown! Jesus scores one for the team!" These things are probably deserving of a bolt of lightning through the roof or at least a slight shock when I turn the lights off.
It wasn't too bad getting through morning rush hour traffic in Cincy, but I was a little disgusted with myself for not leaving earlier or later in order to completely avoid the delight of it all. I had to sit still for maybe ten minutes or so and logged at least another 47 yawns, putting the count somewhere in the neighborhood of 1k for the trip so far. Maybe I exaggerate a little bit sometimes.
Finally, I crossed the Ohio River and thank you Kentucky for having a 70 mph speed limit! I sped my way down the highway with the cruise set at 72 when I realized I was hungry. Really hungry. Stomach growlingly hungry. Unfortunately, the gas gage was no where near needing to be filled and I was so far behind schedule I decided to keep going. I didn't need to eat. I actually said aloud, "Eating will be a luxury on this trip." I am fairly certain that by no stretch of the imagination, can a cold cut ham sandwich or McDonald's drive through be considered a "luxury".
But I was so tired and stopping seemed like a necessity. It was at that point when I remembered that Kentucky meant there would be Blue Bunny ice cream in the rest area vending machines. Why is the Ky Welcome Center 25 miles or more from the state line? This could be disasterous if one has been stuck in Cincinnatti traffic for too long or needs an ice cream fix.
I decided I needed to stop. I told myself it was purely for the chance to ditch the empty Diet Dr. Pepper cans, take a nap and perhaps wander over to the vending machines to see about the Blue Bunny selections.
So, I stopped. Cracked my back. Watched a Kentucky chipmunk run around picking up stuff that chipmunks think are useful items. Walked to the bathroom. Pondered the wisdom of the vendor guy leaving his truck open with all those cases of soda exposed to the world while he was nowhere in sight. Cracked up when I realized he probably had enough Diet Dr. Pepper in there to keep me wired for a year or more even without my IV drip. Cracked up some more about the thought of the IV drip again (see The Trip Commences for further explanation of this) and me walking into the Welcome Center with that attached. Continued to sing whatever song was on the church CD when I shut off the van but I didn't do it as loudly as I did in the van because I didn't want to look like a complete nut. Realized it was way too late to avoid looking like a complete nut so I promptly decided I didn't care. Looked over towards the vending machines and thought about ice cream for breakfast. Hmmmm. If I got some, I wouldn't have to stop again until I needed gas. I love ice cream. I love Blue Bunny ice cream in particular because I am an ice cream snob. I will eat that stuff that comes in the ten gallon bucket if I have to but if I don't have to, then please oh please let there be Edy's or BB in the freezer section. Breyer's will do in a pinch, but only certain kinds. I guess I like my ice cream made out of the ingredients no one can pronounce.
Who eats ice cream for breakfast?
Me. That's who. At least on this trip I did. I justified it by saying I didn't really sleep long enough for it to be actual going to bed sleep so this could technically be a midnight snack even though it was closer to noon than midnight. Ice cream could be considered a dairy serving and the almonds could be considered protein. The whole eliminating an extra stop for something to eat came into play again and really who was going to know that I was eating ice cream for breakfast? This is how sin enters our lives, through justification, and boy was I on the justification bandwagon! I had about ten excuses ready for my breakfast choice just in case I ran into someone I knew at the Ky Welcome Center.
I was clear on not knowing anyone in the rest area. But there is always someone who knows or finds out what we are doing.
In this case it was Mike since I called him and told him because I was in the van laughing about eating ice cream for breakfast and because I wanted to brag about it a little bit. Small minds amuse easily. Especially when that small mind is wired on soda, sleep deprived, hasn't grown up yet and is eating ice cream at 8am.
My sister almost knew too because what I was eating was a Mississippi Mud ice cream sandwich and I was so excited about seeing it in the freezer that I almost called her to brag about getting to eat it. When I lived in Florida, I got her hooked on eating those when she came to visit. It didn't really take much to hook her since it was chocolate ice cream after all and our whole family has the chocolate craving gene. Basically, it is chocolate ice cream with almonds in it, in sandwich form and it is good. We used to be able to get them in Ohio but then the stupid little carry out we found them at stopped carrying them. Then they went out of business and it serves them right for not having Mississippi Mud ice cream sandwiches anymore.
It was 8:00am, I was eating a Mississippi Mud ice cream sandwich for breakfast, the sunrise from earlier was very beautiful, it was warm outside and I was on my way to pick up the kids to head to Florida for half of the summer. What else could I possibly need?
Another MMICS?
I thought about it but I think I remembered that gluttony was one of the seven deadly sins or something weird like that and even though the thought of perhaps dying after eating an MMICS might not be a bad way to go and I thought that all sin was pretty much deadly if left unchecked and unconfessed, I kind of hoped it wasn't going to be my turn just yet. Plus, what I had in the van was a cooler, not a freezer. Too bad for me.
Am I ever going to get there? Am I there yet?
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