First, the cast of players:
Val: She's my sister and Deanna's, Jeannette's, Eric's, Melody's, Amy's and Timothy's Mother. She domicileschooled these young people so ultimately it is her fault that they didn't study for school tomorrow and/or go to bed at a decent hour tonight. Most of the people who appear in this conversation are her kids so in the end, this entire post is her fault.
Mel: She's my sister. I don't think she actually commented on this fb post, but we attempted to drag her into it. She was probably already in bed at a decent hour as opposed to the rest of us staying up late because Eric had to go and start this little word war. She lives in Florida so we have to tag her in a lot of our fb posts to try and drag her into our conversations. Sometimes she takes the bait and sometimes she chooses to remain free to go to bed at a decent hour instead of getting sucked into the black hole of our "700 comments or more" conversations. For the record, this particular conversation was short at just under 200 comments.
Deanna: She is my niece and Eric's older sister. She likes to be the voice of reason in our conversations, usually pointing out grammatical/spelling errors and that certain things we might say are "interesting". I do not think she means interesting in a good way when she says that. I think she means that she is happy none of her friends can see what her family is writing about in broad daylight for anyone to look at if they so desire. She only appears a few times because she was busy watching Les Miz the Musical Movie (I'm not exactly sure what the latest release is called, but I hope to see it someday) while the rest of us were having this conversation. She is a Les Mis scholar. I believe she arrived home at a decent hour and also went to bed at decent hour after watching the musical movie. I think she probably had to shut her phone off during the movie though, because we were blowing it up with all of the notifications she would have gotten due to our verbose exchange.
Jeannette: She is my niece and Eric's older sister. She is an English major which will become apparent as you read this. She is also a Les Miserables scholar so she is able to lapse into 1700s speech at will. You will notice this theme throughout our conversation. If she gets a bad grade in English tomorrow, it's Eric's fault because he posted this on my timeline which caused us to have this conversation instead of studying and/or writing blog posts. Jeannette has two or three blogs that she posts on regularly so they are much more exciting than this. Also, people read her blogs and by people I mean people who are not just her family. She has followers! They like to look at her pictures and read her blogs. I do too. You should follow her blog and not mine, though mine takes much less effort to follow since I only post something once or twice a year.
Eric: He is my nephew and it's all his fault that at least five members of our family fooled around on Facebook having this conversation. He's also responsible for his sister, Jeannette, not getting her schoolwork done or going to bed at a decent hour, not to mention the reason why this is my first blog post in two months, instead of what I was going to write about which was no doubt scholarly and worthy of your time to read it and also riddled with run-on sentences such as this one. Alas, we will never know now what knowledge I may have imparted to the general public since I was ensnared in this conversation instead.
Melody: Melody is my niece. She write a lot. That means she is verbose (that's also the second time I used that word so far in this post). She writes more than me and she likes to write new lyrics to old songs. She won the NaNoWriMo contest last November by writing 90,000 words or something like that. Now, she is working to research and revise her book so she can get some free copies of it soon. She keeps harassing...um, encouraging me to work on mine, but alas, my book is languishing unfinished in the archive files on my computer. It is unclear to me if Melody actually wrote something under the pseudonym Jeannette or Eric in this conversation. Either way, it seems to me that if she didn't comment, then we at least attempted to drag her into this conversation though she did not give into the temptation. She was probably the only one of Val's kids who was doing what they were supposed to be doing: i.e. studying and going to bed at a decent hour.
Amy: Amy is also my niece. She appears at the end of the conversation as the inventor of Glitter Eradicator. You should look for this at WalMart in the "As Seen On TV" aisle. If you don't find it there, watch QVC or late night TV. You can double your order "justpayshippingandhandling" for the extra order. Glitter Eradicator either burns your house down, thus getting rid of your glitter problem or possibly sucks it up into some black hole that Chuck Norris may or may not be responsible for. I am a little unclear exactly how this works, but Val said it works great, especially if you light a bunch of candles.
Timothy: He is my nephew, Val's son. He was mentioned in this because he wanted to stay up late and not study today OR tomorrow so he flattered his mother in order to get a later bedtime. I don't know if it worked or not.
Rich/Richard: Is my son. He's domicileschooled also and is hung up on Chuck Norris jokes at the moment. There's one in the following conversation, but it's gross. Tomorrow we are going to be starting typing skills and also reading the dictionary (paper, not Wikipedia even though Eric said paper dictionaries are sooooooooo yesterday) because we need to increase our vocabulary so we can out speak Val's kids during our next word war. I mean conversation.
Me: Self explanatory. If I didn't have a Facebook account or this blog, then you wouldn't have to read this. Technically, it's Jeannette's fault that this is on here though since you will see that she was the one who told me it was possible to paste this onto my blog. And ultimately, it's Val's fault since Eric started it.
So there.
Here's the fb post. I put the writer's name in bold print to make it easier to see who is talking. Also, if anyone wants to adopt this for the theater, the hard work of having to put the speaker's name in bold print is already done for them. All you need now is some lights and costumes and it should be ready to go. I edited out our last names and deleted all of our pictures and the "likes" on the comments to protect our guiltiness. If you want to see all of that stuff, then you will have to look me up on fb. Unless you aren't my friend because then you can't see it. Neener, neener, neener. Yes, I just said neener three times just as if I am ten years old but so what? You are going to read this anyway, even if I just acted immature. And admit it, when this comes to Broadway, you are going to gladly fork over your $75/ticket and go see it.
I didn't incarnate you.
Me: ...or incarcerate you.
Me: Did someone conflagrate yoour dictionary?
Eric: I could tell you were in your mind, your condensing manner gave it away.
Eric: no I looked it up on Wikipedia, dictionarys are soooooooooooo yesterday.
Me: Good thing this is a conversation just between us and not your sisters too, since I typoed "your" and we don't care about grammatical/spelling errors in quite the same way as they do. Ah Wikipedia, the internet bastion of knowledge. Also, it's true I was in my mind. No one else is brave enough to enter.
Me: It isn't nice to be condensationing to other people you know. Hurry up and look on Wikipedia to see if that's a word. I already added it to throw you off the trail.
Deanna: Interesting conversation. Aunt T, why was your manner 'condensing'? I am wondering if it was really suppose to be condescending...
Me: Nah, it a manner that was very concerted or compact, therefore condense, but not concise.
Val: Whom cares? And the sisters will be here soon to tell you both of your atrocious spelling airs.
Me: Whomever cares about spelling airs, certainly needs a degree in grammar repair.
Me: I wonder what "it a manner that was..." meant? Whom cares? Jeannette and Deanna can figure it out after they get home from the 29th showing of Les Miz.
1 comment:
Wow. That's about as bad as my last post. No wonder no one except our family reads our blogs. About Melody: she wasn't sleeping or schooling, she went to the whatever number showing of Les Mis. Also, at the beginning of her description, you seem to be imitating her grammar... The first part is funny. I want to write a cast of characters for people I know now.
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