Beauty for Ashes

Last week was not a good week.  We had a lot going on and circumstances seemed like they were closing in on me.  I was really feeling oppressed, beaten down, boxed in, immobilized, useless.  What seemed like a major decision needed to be made and I have yet to have any peace about which direction to go.  Mike had surgery scheduled last week.  I am beginning to worry about the longevity of my employment situation.  I could list about ten other things too, but I think the point is made. 

This is also not to say the entire week was a bust though, because it wasn't.  It's January, but the temperatures felt like late October or March.  We had a lot of beautiful, sunny days last week.  I was able to spend time on two different days with friends and we laughed about dumb stuff.  My sister came and sat at the hospital with me during Mike's surgery and we laughed about dumb stuff.  Mom came over on Monday and we watched the Tournament of Roses Parade, ate dinner, played games and, yes, laughed about dumb stuff.  I like to laugh at dumb stuff because I'm mature like that.

Moving along...

One night last week, I was talking to God after everyone had gone to bed.  Honestly, what I was doing resembled whining a lot more than anything else.  Literally, I said that I was feeling boxed in, as if everything was about to fly apart at the slightest hint of a breeze and couldn't the God of all creation look down here and give me a sign?  Throw me a bone?  Maybe write something on the wall of our dining room like He did that other time so long ago?

When you ask the God of the universe, the One who knows the names of all the stars, the God who spoke all things into existence, to throw you a bone, He doesn't just give you some piddly, little thing to boil for stock; He prepares a feast.
Matthew 14:15-19 And when even was come, the disciples came to him, saying, The place is desert, and the time is already past; send the multitudes away, that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves food. 
16 But Jesus said unto them, They have no need to go away; give ye them to eat. 
17 And they say unto him, We have here but five loaves, and two fishes. 
18 And he said, Bring them hither to me. 
19 And he commanded the multitudes to sit down on the grass; and he took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake and gave the loaves to the disciples, and the disciples to the multitudes. 
20 And they all ate, and were filled: and they took up that which remained over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. 
21 And they that did eat were about five thousand men, besides women and children.


Today, in the midst of all the junk, in the midst of my starvation, Richard turned a conversation into one about salvation.  Kinda blindsided me with it actually.  After answering some questions he had and asking a few of my own, he said he was ready to be baptized.  Then he went off to tell Mike he was ready.

God was about to answer my prayers and the prayers of many friends and family, in a mighty, big way.  Make no mistake, this was no bone He was throwing in my direction, our Heavenly Father had been working in the heart of our son and preparing it for His dwelling place.  This work, this answer to prayer was much more important than the stuff I had been whining about. This work I had been praying about since before Richard was born.  This work which He was about to do, was the most important thing of all. 

Because if you don't have Christ, you don't have much even if you have it all.  But when you have Christ, you have all you will ever need, even if you don't have anything.

While we were driving to church, I remembered a little boy at age three, clutching a bouquet of flowers (very beautiful weeds) he had picked (roots and all) and extending his chubby hand, said to me, "I picked these for you Mama.  I love you!"  I remembered the simple faith of a little boy of about five or six who diligently prayed for a bike one Christmas when I knew the only way he would get it was if God answered his prayers. (You can read about that here:  http://tstomes.blogspot.com/2009/11/red-bike.html)  I thought of the little boy trying to be brave in the face of circumstances beyond his understanding when he hadn't seen his Dad for months and couldn't understand why.  I thought of the young man who derived great joy out of helping Grandma clear her sidewalk of snow or cutting her grass.  And I thought of the young man who enjoyed working alongside Grandpa and the devastation he experienced when he died a few months ago.  I thought of all of these years spent praying for him, worrying about him, praying for him, sometimes questioning God what I needed to be doing differently for this child and praying for him some more.

                              Pray without ceasing, press on towards the goal
                          in Reverance to God, He cares for your soul
       Believe He will Answer the desires of your heart
                             Yearn to be closer, never to part
                             Expect Him to answer your prayers in His time
                       and Rest in Him always, He grants peace sublime.
                                      (T. Deffely, 02/01/2010)

Maybe I should have paid a little better attention to the believing He will answer, expecting He will answer and resting in him advice.

Tonight, Mike paraphrased Isaiah when he said God gives us beauty for ashes.
Isa 61:1-3 The Spirit of the Lord Jehovah is upon me; because Jehovah hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; 
2 to proclaim the year of Jehovah's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; 
3 to appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them a garland for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of Jehovah, that he may be glorified.

There's been a lot of ash in our lives.  Richard has experienced a lot in his too.  But tonight God made something beautiful out of it.  Mike asked Richard if he believed that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of the Living God, and taking his affirmation, he baptized him into Christ.  
It was miraculous to see. 
A rebirth. 
A new birth. 
A soul coming home to his Father. 
And I pictured my son giving the only thing He could to our loving, Heavenly Father, the only thing that He wants; his heart. 

I look forward to helping Richard grow in the grace, truth and knowledge of the Lord.  I look forward to helping him to understand that God is:
our loving Father 
our Sovereign Lord
Jehovah Jireh
Jehovah Rophe
Wonderful Counselor
Mighty God
Friend
Alpha
Omega
Beginning
End
and the greatest one of all: The Great I Am. 
Not
I was,
or
I'm going to be.
But present tense for all the time that has come before this and all the time there is yet to be including right now,
I Am. 
Because He is.
God is.  
Right now, right where we are in the midst of our mountaintop highs, the depths of our despair, the middle of our muck and He takes it all and exchanges:
beauty for ashes
oil of joy for mourning
a garment of praise for our spirit of heaviness

I look forward to seeing what God has in store for Richard and I am humbly grateful for the faithfulness of our Heavenly Father.



I wrote this after my own baptism and now I dedicate it to Richard on the day of his.

"Can You Hear?"
Can you hear the angels singing?
It's a song of victory!
For a precious child of God
has been baptized
into the land of the free!

Can you hear the bells?
They're ringing out
a message of the King
For a precious child of God
has come home
eternally to sing.

Can you see the holy face of God?
Do you see His nail scarred hands?
The place where the sword has pierced His side?
The place where His cross still stands?

Can you see the thorns upon His brow?
The cruel crisscrossed scars upon His back?
My guilt
My shame
It's written there
Lovingly nailed to the cross
that He would bear.

Can you see He went there willingly?
And died for you and for me?
Now He reigns in Heaven above
and showers us with His grace and love!

Can you hear the bells?
They're ringing out His song of Victory!
And the angels?
They are rejoicing,
praising the One
who died for me!
T. Bent
November 17, 2004